Page 31 of Tight End

I should, however, bury the memory of him deep in some dark recess of my brain. Thinking about having his mouth on me is not only gravely inappropriate, since I’m sitting in Oliver’s room, but will only work to soften my resolve. That thing needs to be toughened. I need to become immune to him. It’s the only way I’m going to survive staying here for any length of time.

Because right now, with these damn memories floatingaround my head, I’m not sure I’ll make it through tonight without being tempted to sneak into his bed.

This is why I’m weak. This is why I need to get stronger.

I can’t travel down this road again.

He turns, heading back this way, and gives me a smile. It’s a small one, but the dimples on either side of his mouth—the ones I’d completely forgotten all about—make an appearance, and good Lord. This time when my breath catches in my throat, it’s for an entirely different reason. There’s a throbbing between my legs, reminding me exactly how long it’s been since I’ve been with a man. My nipples harden to painful points beneath my bra, and while he won’t be able to see them under this knit sweater, I cross my arms anyway.

No one should be this sexy. This tempting.

I can get through this. I’m tough. I’ve resisted temptation for four years. What’s another couple of weeks?

Yeah, but you didn’t have to live with someone who looked like that.

I’m so screwed. I really am.

But then I remember he has a girlfriend. One I’m sure he loves and is very happy with. Yep. That’s right. See, most of my problems solved themselves. Now I simply need to deal with this burning desire, this hunger threatening to consume me.

If I were home, I’d have a battery-operated session or two with my vibrating friend and put this all behind me, but my friend is back at the apartment underneath water and debris, waiting to be uncovered by the cleaning crew. They’re going to love going through my nightstand.

Also I have zero clue where I’m sleeping, and while I have my trusty fingers I can use to get myself off, I’m hesitantto do anything here. What if I’m in the room next to his? What if he hears me touching myself?

What if it’s not enough?

For my own sanity, I’m going to need to get back into my apartment ASAP. Especially if those dimples are going to be making regular appearances. One showing and I’m already spiraling out of control, the walls I built around myself crumbling. If I were wearing a chastity belt, it would have spontaneously unlocked and clunked to the floor.

“Are you going to be okay?” Ryan crouches down in front of me, his fingers running along the underside of my chin, tilting my face to his. “You sure you don’t want to nap with us?”

My heart is about to pop out of my chest, and I’m more turned on than I have any right to be, but sure, I’m fine. I’m totally fine. I’m so wired, I couldn’t nap if I ate an entire jar of melatonin gummies.

“I’m good.” I swallow down the lump building in my throat. “I need to make a few calls anyway. You should definitely take a nap, though. And Ryan?” His thumb runs below my lower lip, and it’s a struggle not to react, not to let him know this has any effect on me. What is he thinking? Doesn’t he know how fragile I am? “Thank you for all this. I’m not sure how I can repay you.”

He makes a disapproving sound in the back of his throat, moving his hand away and swiftly standing. “There’s nothing to pay back. If anything, I owe you. You did this for three years on your own, and while I’m not sure how, I intend to make it up to you.”

I can think of several ways, none of which are appropriate, and none of which I’ll say out loud.He has a girlfriend, June.Let’s find some respect. “Don’t worry about it. Subjecting yourself to my yoga videos is enough.”

Which is true. I don’t want his money, even if he really has millions. Sure there’s a good chance everything in my apartment is toast and will need to be replaced, but I don’t expect him to pay for that. I have rental insurance for a reason, and I have enough money in my bank account to cover necessities and the studio’s rent. Next month might be tough, but if he follows through with those videos, my classes should start filling up.

Although I need to make sure we are doing completely separate poses, as in no touching. At all. Let’s hope he can follow directions and won’t need any corrections.

“It’s cute you think so.” He huffs a laugh and offers me another smile, this one a little bigger, and tosses me a wink, disappearing into the tent.

I need to get out of here. I need to take a fucking deep breath and fortify myself. And maybe, while I’m at it, change out of these soaked panties and into my new Target undies. He winked at me. He got me flowers and he winked at me. But he has a girlfriend. He’s being nice since you incubated and gave birth to his child.

Clearly I’m the only one overreacting. I’m the only one reading between the lines when the page is still blank.

With a mental slap, I push up from the floor and hightail it out of there. I’m not sure where to go, and I sure as hell don’t want to be found snooping around his bedroom, so I go back down the steps and step out onto the balcony.

The wind is cool and jolts me right back to reality. A reality where my phone is vibrating in my back pocket. Dang it. I’ve been so busy, I forgot to check my phone whenit went off earlier, and as I snag it and swipe it open, the phone buzzed with another text.

Kinsley: I heard about your apartment. Are you okay? Where are you? Do you need a place to stay?

Poppy: Wait. What happened?

Poppy: Why would she need a place to stay?

Kinsley: The apartment above June’s flooded and the entire thing fell into her apartment.

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