Page 72 of Tight End

In truth, I liked living in our own little world, and I didn’t want to ruin it by sharing her with everyone else. When we were together, it was like nothing else existed. Like nobody and nothing could touch us, destroy what we had.

Until it did.

After the accident, I locked myself away. She became a secret. It was almost like talking about things would make them more true, more permanent. Silly, I know. There’s nothing more final than death.

But if I want to move forward, if I even want to have a fighting chance with June, I need to share this part of me.

I turn and walk out of the closet. I don’t need to make sure June is following me. I can feel her behind me, hovering just out of reach. I sit on the foot of the bed, closing my eyes, and hang my head.

“She died.”

Neither of us makes a sound, letting silence settle around us. I need to know what she’s thinking, what she’s feeling, and more than anything I want her to understand who I amtoday. I’m a different man because of her, and the last thing I need is pity.

Caitlin taught me I could love, that after everything with my dad, I was worthy of it.

Slowly, I lift my head. June’s a few feet away, the weight of her gaze settled on me, her eyes glimmering with unshed tears. “How long ... ?”

“It’s been ... seven years.” Has it really been that long? Have I really been holding on to this, to her, for seven fucking years? “We met in college. I was the new hotshot football player and she was my math tutor. She was going to be a teacher. For the first semester, she wanted nothing to do with me, but then I got her to agree to a date.” My smile is sad, the memories bittersweet. “We were together two years before we got married, and then not even a year later she was gone.”

June sits down next to me and I grab her hand. I half expect her to pull away, but she doesn’t. “How did she die?”

I let the question hang between us for several seconds.

With a painful sigh, I squeeze her hand, lacing our fingers together, letting her ground me. She’s my anchor, my light, and for a moment I’ll let her be my strength too. “She was going home to visit her dad right before our senior year, and some asshole ran a red light. They were both declared dead on scene.”

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine what that must have been like.”

“It was hell. I put everything I had into football, I hid my grief, I pretended I was okay. Girls were a dime a dozen, and when I needed an escape, when life got to be too much, I went home with someone for a few hours. Pretty soon, everyone forgot about Caitlin, about my grief. They labeled me as aplayboy, a sure thing, and I let them. I fed into it. It was safe for me.”

She nods, her hair falling forward and blocking her face, but she’s quick to flip it over her shoulder. “I get it. You didn’t let anyone get close enough to hurt you again.”

“Not until you.”

She turns, searching my face, no doubt trying to see if I’m telling the truth, but I wouldn’t lie about this, about her.

I take another heavy breath, letting her see the emotions playing across my face. “You were the first woman I spent the night with after Caitlin died. Even back then there was something about you that called to me. I wanted to get to know you. I wanted to spend the night with you again. So, when I got out of the shower and you were gone, I grabbed your wedding dress. It was a reminder of what could be I guess. A possibility of a real future with someone else.” I lower my voice, my free hand wrapping around the back of my neck, and I give it a squeeze. “I never stopped thinking about you. I felt things for you I never felt with her, and that scared me. Still scares me.”

“Yeah.” Her chuckle is hollow and dies on her tongue. “You weren’t easy to forget either. And trust me, I tried.”

“I haven’t been with anyone since that night.”

Her mouth drops open, her brows drawing together. “What? Seriously? But there are pictures of you with different women all over the internet.”

“All women my agent set me up with so I didn’t show up at these events alone, and they all went home disappointed. Please tell me I’m not alone in this.”

“You’re not,” she whispers, her eyes closing for a moment before pinning me in place. “It’s only been you.”

It’s only been me. I’m trying hard not to jump up from thebed and pace around in front of June, beating my chest like the Neanderthal I am. I’m the last man to sink into her tight little pussy, and I’m going to make damn sure there’s no one after me. I will ruin her for any other man and do my damnedest to make sure she knows it.

I will worship her for hours.

I will?—

THIRTY-FOUR

June

I can’t sit hereany longer, pretending I don’t want this. Him.

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