Page 18 of Freeing Hook

The woman laughs. I still can’t distinguish her facial features in the dark, not with the way she keeps to the shadows. “Of course he is. Why else did you think you managed to keep his attention as long as you did? Really, you should have known the second he looked twice at you that something supernatural was going on.”

Tears sting at my eyes, a burning swelling in my throat. I want to tell her she’s wrong, but all I hear are Peter’s words ringing in my ear.

You’ll grow tired of her before then. Trust me. Six is a mercy.

“Why can’t you see that no one wants you? Are you really just that dull, that you can’t piece the evidence together? Perhaps if you were half as intelligent as your brother, you might see it. John sees it. He’s seen it for a long time. He’s just too bound by his loyalty to tell you. But his life would have been better without you. Michael could have had his mother, if it weren’t for you. And now you’ve gone and traumatized him for good.”

I glance at the stars, but this only feeds the woman’s antagonism. “You keep looking toward the sky, but tell me, do you see anyone coming?”

My mouth works, but no sound comes out.

“What are you going to do?” the woman asks. “Just wait until the captain gets what he needs out of you? Wait around until time passes, and he’s forced to give you back to Peter? Do you think Peter will be glad to see you? It only took him a handful of months to lose interest. What do you think half a year willdo? And Michael, he might have healed of what you did to him by then. Can you imagine how far it will set him back to see you again? It’s selfish, really, to try to go back to them. You’ve only ever made everyone’s lives worse by your presence. Well,” the woman laughs. “Except for those men in the parlor. You did them the favor of providing them a story. Why don’t you just do the people you love a favor and…” The woman gestures toward the railing.

I stand, hardly able to face her. I’m not sure I want to make out her face. Put skin and eyes and hair to the voice that makes me writhe inwardly. She should be hideous, a nightmare, but I have a feeling she is not, and that will only make things worse.

The boards of the deck are slick against my feet, damp from being so close to the railing, unprotected from the stray wave that makes its way over the edge. When I reach the railing, I have to support myself on it, my hands trembling as much as my legs.

Below, the dark waves almost look kind. Playful. Inviting.

They look as if they’d be warm.

I fidget my engagement ring around my finger and feel its cool kiss around my skin. It stings, but part of me clings to the feeling. A part of me died on this deck the moment we crossed the warping out of Neverland. It ripped me in half, being separated from Peter, though he felt none of it.

I’ve already died alone once.

“I could endure it, you know—the pain,” I whisper to the strange woman, now quiet behind me. “I could hurt forever if I thought I could keep John and Michael safe.”

“But you know better than that.” The woman almost sounds sad, the bitterness in her voice drained.

“I never wanted to, but I’ve only ever caused them trouble…” I say. “John—he would have gotten out of Neverland with Michael. He would have found a way, but he stayed for me. Because I wanted to stay.”

“And if you were gone?” asks the woman, her question as steering as the lower lights guiding a ship in the fog.

“If I were gone, John could take Michael and move on. They could live out their lives in our realm. Where they belong. John’s clever—he could make a life for himself and Michael. They could be safe. Happy.”

Below, the waves lap against the hull of the boat.

“You love them very much,” says the woman, as tears stream down my cheek. I watch them, like I’m going to be able to tell when they hit the water.

In the end, that pursuit is vain, too.

When I climb over the edge of the rail and jump, I can’t help but wish I had made my last climb just a little higher. That I could have had further to fall.

CHAPTER 7

JOHN

When Tink disappears into the cover of the shadowed forest, I hesitate.

This wasn’t the plan. I had hoped she’d eat her meal outside of the reaping tree. I knew that was a long shot, but not having to follow her would have made this simpler.

Second best option was that she wouldn’t notice me, and I could follow her to her hideout and wait until she consumed her meal and the rushweed.

As it is now, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.

She knows I’ve seen her. If I follow her, she’ll know what I’m doing. It’s likely I’ll be part of her meal, and that’s probably her intention. Lure me into the woods so she won’t have to depend on Smalls’s generosity for a while.

I almost return to the Den, sure this is the only option at the moment. But then it occurs to me what might happen if I allow Tink to get away.

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