Page 127 of Freeing Hook

Guilt punctures my lungs as the realization washes over me. As in my mind, it’s me branding him with a poker, my lips leaning into his ear, whispering that he’ll never be rid of me.

Astor,Maddox, and Charlie are arguing when I find them on deck the next morning. I can hear their bickering from down the stairs into the lower level, but the wind is howling with enough force that I can’t make out what they’re saying.

Or maybe it’s just the buzzing in my ears blocking it all out.

It’s not until I draw close that their voices come into focus.

“Just so we’re clear, I’m not at all on board with this decision,” says Maddox, crossing his hefty arms across his chest.

“Then it’s a good thing you’re not the one in charge,” says Astor, mirroring Maddox’s posture.

Charlie throws her hands up in the air. “Why you insist on doing everything on your own, I’ll never understand. If this is about W—” She clamps her mouth as soon as she sees me.

Slowly, Astor and Maddox both swivel toward me.

I can’t help myself. When I see Astor’s hardened face, I search, just for the span in between blinks, for the boy who was left at the orphanage in the hands of a monster.

“Yes, Darling?” he says, more patiently than I’m expecting.

Maddox grinds his teeth, tapping his foot against the deck.

“I was going to ask…” I glance in between the three pirates standing before me, sensing I’m interrupting something important. Heat flushes my cheeks, discomfort swarming in my belly at the realization that they’ve been discussing me. Even if it was nothing particularly negative about me, it feels as if I’ve poked my head in where I’m not wanted. Clearing my throat, I start again. “I was going to ask if it’s alright if the two of us went to visit the Seer alone.”

Maddox looks down. Rubs the back of his neck with his palm. Charlie stares at me, her wide, beautiful eyes full of pity.

When Astor doesn’t answer, I feel the need to explain. Find myself hugging my waist with my arms as the wind swirls around the deck. “It’s just that you and I won’t be Mated after the Seer casts the spell. It just feels…I don’t know. Private?”

Maddox grimaces, but he doesn’t object. Neither does Charlie, who places a gentle hand on my shoulder and offers Astor a venomous look as she walks away.

“Yes, Darling,” the captain says. “I think we can grant that.”

The cave remindsme of black opal, shiny in spots where the condensation has coated the rock in a glistening layer of moisture. Down below, waves crash against the cliffs, and I’m taken back to the night I tried to escape Neverland with John and Michael. The night I’d discovered the truth behind the Lost Boys’ origins.

I’d thought I’d known everything then. I’d been wrong.

The climb to the cave had been demanding, but I’d refused Astor’s assistance. The hostility in my heart toward him is gone; I just can’t stand for him to help me. Not after what I tried to do to him last night.

Not after I tried to keep him.

We haven’t spoken much since we left the ship. Just a few words here and there. All logistical.

It’s killing me. He’s killing me. His silky black hair, wet from the spray of the ocean, the glisten of sweat across his brow where his hair falls across his forehead in jagged points. His eyes, like the foliage just after it rains. Cool and glowing and eerie.

The first time I met Captain Nolan Astor, I remember thinking that touching him would draw blood.

Now I know who made him sharp.

When we enter the cave, our footsteps echo across the hard ground.

“You didn’t tell me you were one of the children at the orphanage,” I say quietly, my voice rebounding off the walls, so that my statement repeats itself until it sounds more like an accusation.

Astor’s ears twitch. “How did you come across that information?”

I let the corner of my mouth drag upward, like I’m trying to be sly or playful, but I’m just so tired I’m not sure it has the same effect. “I didn’t, but you just confirmed it for me.”

Astor examines me. I’m not sure he believes me, but I’d rather him not question my activities last night.

“If you were enrolled at that orphanage… Nolan, Peter told me about what kind of man the warden was. How he treated the boys at the orphanage.”

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