Page 110 of Freeing Hook

The laugh I let out is wry. “Of the two of us, which one of us do you think can make sure they get what they want? If Astor wanted me, he’d have me.”

The words are out before I’ve realized I let them escape my lips. My stomach churns over, but there’s no taking them back.

Maddox stands, then stretches, but as he turns away, he looks over his shoulder and says, “For the record, I do believe that you’re the type of person who can get what she wants.”

“Doyou think people can learn to be brave?”

Charlie shifts in her bed. I waited to ask the question until I was fairly sure she’d gone to sleep. I guess I was hoping that I would be able to pat myself on the back and convince myself that I’d done everything I could do. That at least I’d tried.

I must have misjudged Charlie’s breathing patterns, because she shoots up in bed, suspicion written all across her brow. “Of whom are we speaking?” she asks conspiratorially.

I groan, propping myself up in bed as well to look at her, though my inclination is to hide myself under the covers. “A hypothetical character I plan to write into a play when all this is over.”

Charlie glares at me, then grabs a pillow and hugs it against her chest. “Obviously.”

I sigh, giving up the farce. “I’m not brave naturally. And even if I was, I have such difficulty finding the right words in the moment, speaking my mind. They always come out wrong, and—”

“Tell me the story of how you escaped Astor the first time.”

I frown, confused. “I’m not sure what that has to do with anything.”

Charlie just stares at me, unblinking.

I press my lips together, then scramble for the words. “After…well, after my parents died, John pressed his pocket watch into my hand. He’d loaded it with faerie dust and set it to explode at midnight. I guess he hoped it would give me time to escape the Shadow Keeper. But after Astor attacked, Johnadjusted the time, so it exploded early. Siv had already taken Michael, so John and I had to find him. Once we got him…”

“Stop,” she says. “How did you get Michael away from Siv?”

I blink. “John snuck up behind him and knocked him over the head with a brick. Or maybe it was a horseshoe. I can’t really remember.”

“And you were just standing around doing nothing?” Charlie asks.

I frown. “No, I was talking to Siv. Trying to keep him distracted so he wouldn’t notice John approaching.”

Charlie, appeased, gestures for me to continue.

“We ended up hiding in the clock tower, but Astor’s men were closing in, so we climbed the ladder to the top.”

“Why’d you choose the clock tower?” she asks.

“Because we needed somewhere to hide. I already told you…” When I trail off, Charlie cocks her head to the side, and I sigh. “I chose the clock tower because I figured hiding at the top would give me enough time to strike a deal with the Shadow Keeper.”

“Now why would you purposefully run into the arms of the very being who had been haunting you for over half your life?” Charlie asks.

I bite my lip. “I needed to convince him to save my brothers. But I was going to have to go with him anyway. It wasn’t as if I had any chance of escaping him.”

“In my experience, there are plenty of people who’d never think of running toward their own tragic Fate, no matter how inescapable it was,” says Charlie.

I hug my knees to my chest, anxiety quelling. Charlie’s expression changes, pity and concern overwhelming her features. “You don’t have to be fearless to be brave, you know. You don’t even have to look brave or sound brave. Your voice can tremble and your hands can shake. But those things can’t takeyour courage away from you. I’m sorry you were ever made to feel otherwise.”

Discomfort swirls in my stomach. “I just don’t know that I could even get the words out. And even if I could…what if he hates me for it?”

Charlie grimaces. “If I had to bet, if the captain hates anyone for what’s going on between the two of you, it’s himself.”

I let out a wry laugh and bury my face in my hands. “I think you’ve managed to make me feel worse. Iaso deserves better than this.”

Charlie sighs. “Iaso is gone. Has been for a long time. But you’ve got to decide what you’re more afraid of: the captain rejecting you, or living the rest of your life wondering what might have been different had you been brave enough to start the conversation.”

I peer at her through my hands. “You’re not saying what I want to hear, you know.”

---