Page 134 of Losing Wendy

I wince. “You did.”

Simon winces too, then presses his fingers to his forehead. “I’ve known something was wrong for a while now.”

“Tell them Peter had to go away. That he left me instructions to get the lot of you out of Neverland. That strangers are coming in the same way as…” My throat closes up at the betrayal of the lie. “Thomas’s and Freckles’s and Joel’s killer. It’s not safe here anymore. I’m to get the lot of you out and meet him on the other side.”

Simon blinks. “That might work.”

I nod. “It’ll have to.”

Simon turns to go, then spins back around. “You won’t leave without me? You’ll wait there, at the shed, until I get back?”

A lump rises in my throat. “I promise.”

The moonlight glances off the moisture in Simon’s eyes as he turns and runs.

Scalingthe cliffside takes less time than it should. Perhaps I’m propelled by fear this time. Perhaps I’m so distracted by my thoughts that it only seems faster.

Either way, John and Michael are already waiting for me by the time I arrive.

Michael is pacing, trying to get to the edge of the cliff to lean over. John’s hand is interlocked with his, letting him just close enough to look, but with a wide enough gap between him and the edge where he won’t fall.

“I’ve already broken into the shed,” John says, tugging at a sack of faerie dust at his waist. He goes to untie the clasp with one hand, but I shake my head.

“Get just enough for the two of you,” I say. “I won’t be far behind.”

John stills. “What do you mean, you won’t be far behind?”

I sigh. “The other Lost Boys are meeting us here. I’m getting them out too.”

“Wendy. What’s going on?”

I bite my lip. “Just take Michael and go. I’ll explain on the other side. Meet me back at the clock tower, okay?”

John lets out a gust of air. “I’m not leaving without you.”

“John,” I plead. “You have to get Michael out of here.”

“No. I have to get both of you out of here.”

“I’m not your responsibility, John.”

“Yes, Wendy. You are.” John’s heaving now, and I recognize the desperation in his voice, his expression. “I’ve always looked after you.”

My heart wilts as I remember John sleeping outside my room, ready to jump out and slay the shadows before they took me. Before I let them take me. John’s always been there to grab my hand before I go teetering off the edge, always been there to keep me tethered to the earth.

I remember soaring with Peter, two forces pulling me in opposite directions.

“John, you have to let go,” I say. “I have to learn to take care of myself.”

John swallows. “Well, let me know when you do. I’ll happily give up looking after you then, but as of now, I’m yet to be convinced.”

His words sting, but he’s not being unfair. I’m the one who fell for a monster, after all. I’m the one who led my brothers into an adder’s den, then tried to convince them they were safe there. I’m the one who gave up on trying to get them out, and instead settled for my own blissful nothingness, rather than fighting for them to have a real life.

“Michael can’t stay here,” I say.

“First sign of danger, I’ll get him out,” says John.

I nod, recognizing my brother won’t be dissuaded.

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