Page 65 of Pawns of Salistya

Based on the way he was holding himself, the message was received loud and clear.

‘What does a True Infinite mean to you? What does that make us, Xylan?’ I asked, wanting to hear the words from his mouth.

‘A True Infinite is your perfect match, soulmate, true love. Whatever you call it, the pairing is destiny. Our pairing is different, our eyes and power are a gift from Wystia and Merlot. We’re fated to follow in their footsteps and unite the Doms. To lead and protect Fyriane.’

‘How long have you known I was your True Infinite?’ My tone held no room for avoiding the question. I shelved the knowledge about Merlot and Wystia to think about later.

He swallowed deeply and closed his eyes in resignation. ‘I felt a shift when you were first born but I was also young at the time. But when you were gifted your magic, that’s when I felt the full force of you. I realised that shift I felt in my early years was your soul being brought into this world. My fated.’ His tone was full of regret and a deep yearning. His hands clenched as he restrained himself, preparing for my response.

‘Four years!’ I exclaimed. ‘Over four fucking years you’ve known and you didn’t think to try and contact me earlier? To activate the Lull and start feeding me information, rather than getting into this huge, colossal mess? Damn it Xylan, I fell in lovewith someone Ishould’ve never been with.’ His jaw clenched at that. ‘I was forced to marry a fuckingKing. I’ve been scrambling to understand how my life has spiralled so out of control. I’ve been trying to work out how the hell I can get myself out of it, desperately searching for answers. I’ve wondered how the Solistans could ever see me as their true queen when the reality is I’ve always felt like I wasn’t worthy, like I wasn’t good enough. But the worst part of it all? I’m surrounded by people, yet I can count on one hand who I can trust. I feel lonely. So fucking lonely.’ I brushed at the stray tear that escaped down my cheek, taking a shaky breath.

‘And you know what the worst part is, Xylan? You knowthe environment I grew up in. The oppression and subjugation of women. You would’ve known how difficult it’s been for me. To be different. To have all this unexplained power that no one else could relate to, apart from you. And the person I’m fated to be with didn’t once try to help or stop the events that unfolded. You held all the knowledge, keeping it to yourself while I struggled to understand who I was. What I am. Where my place is in all of this. And you didn’t think that maybe, just maybe, I would’ve found comfort in this knowledge? To find comfort from the one person who could make me feel less fucking alone?’

‘Valare –’ His voice broke. My words had shattered him like his lack of words had shattered me.

I held up my hand, not interested in what he had to say. ‘We’ll act properly while the Royal Forum is underway, but I don’t want you to talk to me or look at me outside of it. I’ll come to you when orifI’m ready. Until then, do what you’ve done in the past and stay the fuck away from me.’

As an afterthought I added, ‘I hope that’s enough communicationfor you, Pretty Boy. I know your opinion of us physical mages. Whatdid you say again? Oh yes. I don’t communicate like psychic mages, but my body doesn’t lie. That’s where you’ll find my feelings. You might be right, but I’d highlyrecommend you take my words right now at face value. And don’t for one second misconstrue my words with trusting you.’

I turned away from him, but not before I saw the effect of my words. He looked like he’d been sucker punched.

I teleported back to my rooms. Only then did I allow myself to succumb to the thoughts screaming in my head. I’m totally fucked.

‘I was wondering when you’d return.’ A deep, familiar voice sounded in the corner of my room.

Turning around, I suppressed a groan as I stared at mossy green eyes.

Could this night get any worse?

Chapter 27

‘How did you get in here?’ I swallowed.

His head cocked to the side, eyes narrowed in suspicion. ‘The same way you just arrived.’

I suppressed a curse, wishing I’d included him in the wards that I placed around my room to keep undesirable people out.

I casually walked towards the day bed in the corner of my room, intentionally creating space between us. Plopping down, I was careful to come across as nonchalant, as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. As if my heart hadn’t just broken into a thousand different pieces.

‘It’s a bit risky coming to my quarters like this. Never mind that we have royals here at the moment, trying to listen in on conversations,’I said.

‘Please, no one is going to be able to hear us,’ he scoffed.

‘Not the point. You’re letting your emotions get the best of you. You know better than that.’

‘A bit rich coming from the girl who reeks of a man who’s neither her husband, nor me.’

‘I think you need to get your senses checked,’ I sniffed.

‘Classic Valare, trying to put it on everyone else but herself.’

Is he serious? For over a year he’s been telling me everything is my fault, never admitting his role in the situation. ButI’mputting it on everyone else?

I’m done. I’m done with men, with this man. This man is no better than the Salistyan pigs I grew up with. He’s just another pain in my ass and I want out of this situation, consequences be damned.

‘That’s your opinion, and you’re allowed to have it. But I disagree,’ I said evenly, despite my emotions.

He shrugged dismissively. ‘Of course you disagree. You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t.’

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