Page 40 of Hero

It can’t be anyone but Zed.

Even before what happened during the evening processes in my mind, I know for sure it’s Zed I’m in bed with.

I like sleeping with him. It feels intimate. Domestic. His T-shirt I’m still wearing is hiked up around my chest, and one of my bare legs is hooked over his. I can feel the hair on his thighs when I rub my leg against his.

He makes a sound somewhere between a snort and a snore, and ridiculously I kind of like that too.

I shouldn’t be liking this so much. Why the hell am I even still in bed with him? Fucking him is one thing—and dangerous enough to my mental well-being—but falling asleep beside him is something entirely different.

He’s not in love with me. We’re not a couple. We aren’t like Cal and Rachel, who are clearly connected to each other by deep bonds impossible to miss. Even when they weren’t touching each other, it still felt like they were touching. It was something in the air between them.

That’s a couple in love. Nothing like Zed is with me. He basically understands me now, and he’s happy to fuck me. Why wouldn’t he be? He doesn’t have anyone else available. But I’m a partner of chance and convenience. We’re only together because circumstances left us this way.

Dreaming of something more—something deeper—will only end up hurting me. And I’ve always been too smart and practical for that kind of thing.

Reminding myself of these undeniable truths, I force myself to roll away from Zed. I only get a few inches before his arm tightens and pulls me back.

I mumble and try again.

He won’t let me go.

“Zed.”

“Hmm.” He’s not nearly as awake as I am, but he must be conscious enough to hear me talking to him.

“Zed.” I try one more time to roll.

He responds with a huff and a roll of his own so I end up on my back with him on top of me.

The whole weight of his body is resting on me.

And I like it.

I really do.

“Zed.” I’m breathless as something deep inside me starts to pulse.

“Hmm.” This time he stretches the hum out into a long, husky groan. He nuzzles at my neck. Gives me a clumsy kiss.

“Zed, are you awake?”

“I’m kissing you.”

“Yes, but are you awake while you’re doing it?”

“I’m awake enough to know I want to be kissing you.”

He’s got to be awake if he managed a complete sentence like that. I slide my hands up so I can caress his head, feeling the texture of his hair beneath my palms.

“Mm-hmm. I like that.” He’s interspersing his mumbles with little kisses. Only a few land on my mouth. Most of them are on my jaw and the side of my neck.

“You like when I rub your head?”

“Mm-hmm. Feels good.” He’s growing erect against my lower belly. I can feel his penis hardening beneath his thin boxers. “Don’t stop.”

Because I love how it feels, I keep up the caress while he kisses and nibbles the crook of my neck. Then he’s edging himself between my legs. He feels my pussy and, discovering I’m wet enough, slides himself in.

I moan softly at the way my body stretches around him. He hooks a hand under one of my thighs, lifting my leg. He’s still resting his weight on me, and I still love how it feels. Even when he starts to rock his hips, the pushes are fast and easy and match my natural rhythm.

---