Page 31 of Hero

I let out another breath. “So we can go talk to them?”

“I guess. For a little while. I want to load up the truck and get back home before dark.”

“That’s fine. We have time.” I smile at Rina. “Do you want to go meet some new people? They’re all nice, and the women are real pretty.”

“They are?” Her eyes get very big again. “As pretty as you?”

“Oh, a lot prettier than me.”

Her lips turn down. “But no one is as pretty as you are, Essie. Right, Daddy?”

Zed clears his throat. Doesn’t meet my eyes. “That’s right.”

5

We endup staying through dinner.

Zed tries to round Rina and I up in the late afternoon, but Rina is on a high from the excitement of meeting new people, and she convinces him to let us stay a couple more hours.

We’ve got the truck to drive back to the cabin, so it won’t be as dangerous to travel after dark. And I don’t blame Zed for not having the heart to drag Rina away too early.

She’s had so few new things to enjoy in her life.

The girl is fascinated by the newcomers. Both women and Mack are really good with her, giving her plenty of attention and talking to her like she’s important. Cal doesn’t do much more than grunt and mutter in response to her many inquiries about his beard and how he got so many scars on one of his arms and why he doesn’t know how to smile.

He’s so uncommunicative that I’m afraid he’ll hurt Rina’s feelings, but she takes it all in stride. In fact, she seems to really like him and sees his gruff attitude as a challenge.

Kids have pretty good instincts about people. She’s probably picked up the same vibes I have—Cal’s not nearly as mean as he appears.

For dinner, they have bread and bacon and apples and another treat I’d nearly forgotten about.

Eggs.

They have chickens in their communities. And pigs and goats. And there’s a farm that grows wheat and grinds it to flour for bread. They apparently don’t have cows, so the main thing they’re missing from their diet are dairy products. Mack talks about hoping to find cows farther out west.

I enjoy the afternoon and dinner, and it makes me happy to see Rina having such a good time. Zed is unusually quiet, but at least he’s not glowering anymore.

The more we talk, the more obvious it is that we should head east and try to settle in one of the communities in that region of Kentucky. There we’ll be able to make a life for ourselves and Rina. We’ll have more food. And social structures like school and doctors. Meeting these people has changed everything for us, and all the signs are pointing in their direction.

The instinctive knowledge that it’s right—that it means a dramatic change will be required—eventually triggers my anxiety, spinning it higher as the minutes pass.

Eventually I can’t sit still any longer. Buddy pops up immediately, at my heels as always. I excuse myself by saying I need to go to the bathroom.

I don’t. Not really. I just want to move and get away for a few minutes.

Before I leave the building, I glance back at the people I’ve left. Rina is playing some sort of game of sticks and rocks with Mack and Anna. Cal and Rachel are lounging together and watching the game-playing. Both his arms are around her, and I’m hit with a ridiculous pang of something like envy. They’re so clearly together. So obviously in love.

Zed was watching the game too, but now he’s shifted his focus to me. He meets my eyes for a moment, his expression impassive. Unreadable.

I don’t know what it means. I don’t know what he’s thinking, and it’s unsettling because I usually do.

Things were so much easier before I fucked him. Why did I ever think that was a good idea?

Feeling weird and churny and jittery, I continue out of the building with Buddy. The air is chilly, and there’s a breeze. I swipe flyaways from my braids out of my face and blink into the darkness.

I don’t have to pee, so I just wander a bit, stretching my legs and breathing the night air.

If we’re smart, we’ll pack and leave the cabin soon before the weather turns bad and the winter sets in. It would be a one-day trip in the old world—the world of good roads and rest stops and gas stations every few miles. But it’s going to take us a lot longer, and half a tank of gas in the truck won’t get us the whole way.

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