Page 13 of Hero

I almost choke on the last sip as it feels like I’m going to suffocate. I gasp for air.

“If we have to move, we’ll move,” Zed mutters. He might not be an intellectual powerhouse, but he’s always been sharper than he pretends. He clearly knows what’s gotten me up in the middle of the night.

“We’ll be killed on the road.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. There haven’t been nearly as many travelers lately, and we can stay on back roads and avoid people.”

“Even if we take that truck, there’s only half a tank of gas in it. It won’t take us very far, and we’ll never find more gas.”

“Then we’ll walk.”

“Rina is too young for walking that long.”

“Then I’ll carry her.”

I try to imagine such a trip, but I can’t wrap my mind around how it will work. There are so many obstacles. So many dangers. And we don’t even know where we’re going.

There may be no safe space left in the world.

My heart is racing again, and I’ve broken out in a cold sweat. It feels like I can’t take a full breath.

“Damn it, Esther. You’re spiraling.”

“I know that.” I want to slap him right now, as irrational as the impulse is. It feels like I’m about to lose it, and it also feels like it’s all his fault.

“Well, stop it.”

“I’m trying.” I’m still staring down at the table, but I can sense Zed leaning closer to me, scanning my face with his blue eyes. Damn the man anyway. There’s not a comforting, sympathetic bone in his whole body.

I want my mom. My sister. Someone to hug me and tell me everything is going to be all right. Even my stepdad would pat me on the shoulder and tell me he’d take care of us.

Zed just tells me tostop it.

The grief at the thought of my dead family gathers in a hard lump in my throat, rising behind my eyes and nose. But it feels trapped there. It blocks my airways.

I make a raspy sound as I desperately suck in air.

“Shit, what the hell are you doing, woman? You’re going to pass out.” Zed stands up and yanks my chair out from the table. Then he pushes my head down toward my knees.

I know it’s what you’re supposed to do when you’re on the verge of fainting, but the pressure of his hand on my neck feels like a vice. I jerk away from him, stumbling to my feet and then toward the door of the cabin.

Zed follows in long, fast strides. When I reach for the doorknob, he flattens his hand against the door to keep it closed. “Hell, no. You’re not going outside.”

“I need to.” I’m still gasping for air, and tears are leaking out of my eyes and down my cheeks. “I need to get out. I need… air.”

“Well, you can’t. Not right now.” Before I object again, he bites out, “There’s a bear out there. It’s been lurking, and it’s hungry. There’s no way in hell you’re going out there in the dark.”

I didn’t know about the bear. He didn’t tell me, but I know now what I heard rustling in the woods earlier this evening.

“I don’t care.”

“I do. I’m not letting you out. I’ve got to take care of Rina, and I can’t do it without you.”

I’d fight him. For sure. Because his bossiness is one more mental chain that’s tying me down. But the sound of Rina’s name stops me. Because I love her, and she needs to be taken care of. And Zed is a good dad, but he’d have a hell of a time doing it on his own.

I try to speak but can only make a strangled sound. It feels like I’m swaying on my feet.

Zed makes a low, growling sound and strides over to one of the windows. He opens the shutters he and his brother rigged over the windows for extra protection and then unlocks the window and slides it up.

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