Page 103 of Escorted

She shotsuspicious eyes over at him, but there was no trace of humor on his face. Helooked more tired than anything else.

“Do you want totalk about it now?” he asked.

“There’snothing to talk about. We met one of your clients.”

“Formerclients.”

“Formerclients,” she amended with a roll of her eyes. “You know what I mean. It’s nobig deal. I saw you with Sarah Jacoby before. Remember? I was your clientmyself.”

“But obviouslyseeing Becka tonight bothered you.”

Emotion stillthreatened to spill over into more sobs, so Lori tried to back off from thesorest of subjects. To divert the direction of his questioning, she asked,“Didn’t it bother you?”

“Yes,” Andersaid. His voice was calm and his expression natural. Only his eyes were urgentas they tried to dig into Lori’s soul. “Some. But I was more worried about yourreaction. With good reason, it seems.”

“I have noreason to get upset about it,” she insisted, wishing she could just make thewords be true. “I’ve always known what you did. I participated in it myself. Iknew you had a lot of clients.”

“All of that istrue,” Ander said slowly. “But it might still upset you.” He wasn’t being sweetand gentle, really. Just bland and matter-of-fact.

Lori snuffled,trying to force back a sudden surge of violent tears. “Well, it doesn’t.”

“Uh-huh.”

Shooting him afierce glare, she rasped, “Well, you don’t have to be snotty about it. How manyother women are in my situation? It’s...it’sweirdto meet women thatyour boyfriend fucked for money.’

She gasped andput a hand over her mouth when she realized what she’d said. Since they'dgotten together, she’d been so determined not to berate or reproach Ander forhis past. It was mean and petty and futile.

Ander liftedhis eyebrows slightly. “As you said, you’ve known that all along about me. Youwent into this relationship knowing what you were getting into it.”

“I know. Butknowing is different than seeing.”

“And what didyou see?”

“I saw that...thatbitch!” Even Lori was vaguely shocked by the rough vehemence of herwords. “That bitch—looking at you like you were a piece of meat. Like you werehers to leer at and touch and...and fuck. It made me sick.”

“I’m not hers,”he said. “I’m mine. And yours.”

“I know that.”Her voice cracked at the matter-of-fact way he’d said it—as if he had no doubtat all. “But she used to...you used to ...”

“But notanymore.”

Lori felt likean absolute fool, a blubbery mess, particularly in contrast to Ander’s coolcomposure. “But doesn’t it...doesn’t it bother you?”

“Of course, itbothers me sometimes, but I refuse to dwell on it. I’ve made differentdecisions. I’m doing something worthwhile and fulfilling with my life now. AndI’m going to spend the rest of it with you. I’ve got nothing to complain about,and I’m not going to beat myself up over what I used to do.”

Obviously, Lori’semotions were too much in a turmoil to react appropriately. His words made herso happy, soothed something so raw and aching in her heart, that she burst intotears again.

“Oh, God, Lori,”Ander murmured gruffly, for the first time his face twisting in concern. “Iknow it’s hard for you to think about how I was with those other women. But youknow you’re the first woman I was ever reallywith. We’re the same inthat. It's the first for both of us.”

“I know,” shegurgled. “I’m okay. You know it’s not that I blame or judge you—”

“I know. Ofcourse I know.”

“I don’t knowwhat’s gotten into me tonight.” She wiped her face one more time, feeling a lotbetter and convinced that her hysterical weeping was finally under control.“Must be that time of the month. Hormones.”

“Could be.” Anderleaned forward in the chair, gazing intently on where she was still sprawled onthe floor, her pretty dress hitched up around her hips. “But I know sometimesall of this still bothers you.”

“It does. Andit’s not just jealousy or possessiveness. I just can’t stand that they ...theyused you. ThatIused you.”

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