Page 24 of Fall

Jin had been visibly pregnant since Lenna had arrived on the planet. Shemust have been at least seven months along. When she went into labor thatevening, Lenna suspected that it was too early, and the rest of the womenappeared to understand the same thing.

No one was excited, but no one seemed particularly upset. Mostly, themood of the cave was tired and subdued, as Jin went through hours of labor togive birth to a very premature baby who was obviously dead.

It was very late—after midnight—when Lenna finally was able to go to bed.She was shaky and nauseated and deeply disturbed that the men and children hadjust slept through the whole thing and the women, even gentle Mara, had gonethrough the process as if it were just a normal event.

The Kroo didn’t have very many babies. There were currently only twochildren under three. This should have been a loss. A personal loss for Tamenand Jin, and a loss for the tribe as a whole.

But Lenna was the only one who seemed genuinely upset by it. She’d neverbeen particularly maternal or domestic. She’d never wanted to have children.But she also never wanted to again live through anything like what she hadtonight.

She was shuddering helplessly as she crawled under the blankets beside Rone.He’d been asleep—like all the other men—but he woke up when she climbed overhim to get into her normal position.

“Lenna,” he mumbled, as she pulled the furs up over them both.

He sounded so warm and sleepy and familiar that something broke inside her.She choked on a sob and huddled against him, trying desperately not to cry.

Jin hadn’t even cried over losing the baby. There was no reason for Lennato do so.

Rone gave a questioning grunt and nuzzled at her face. It just made hershake even harder.

He propped himself up over her, trying to peer at her in the dark. “Lennahurt?” This thought must have pushed him into urgency because he pulled backthe covers and started to examine her body, evidently searching for injury orillness.

Lenna pushed him away, still strangling on suppressed tears. “Lenna nohurt.”

Rone relaxed and sniffed at her face again where a couple of tears hadstreamed down her cheeks.

She wanted to explain, since he appeared genuinely concerned, but sherealized she had no idea what the word in their language was for “sad.” She’dbeen with them for more than two months now, and it had never come up.

It bothered her. A lot. That no one had needed to use the word sad in allthat time.

There was something inhuman about it.

Rone was still sniffing her, and it made her feel even worse. She gentlypushed him away and turned onto her side, her back to him. “Lenna sleep.”

If a little part of her wanted Rone to be concerned enough to keep askingher what was wrong, it was to be disappointed. He relaxed behind her andmumbled, “Lenna sleep.” He stroked her hair a few times. “Lenna good.”

Lenna wasn’t good. She was aching and queasy and so upset she wasstarting to go numb from it.

But evidently there was no one in this cave who could understand.

***

The next morning,she still felt sick and sad—even more so since everyone got up and went abouttheir business as if nothing unusual had happened the night before.

Lenna found Desh after breakfast, desperately needing to speak to someonewho might possibly comprehend how troubled she felt.

He was cleaning off the turnip-roots that had been picked the day before,so they could be added to the tribe’s store for winter, but he looked up whenLenna sat down beside him.

“Does no one in this tribe even have a heart?” she asked, without prefaceor segue.

He evidently knew what she referred to. “Most of the babies they havedie, either in miscarriages or when they’re infants. They don’t get attachedthe way we’re used to. They can’t get attached—not until there’s a good chancethe baby will live.”

“I understand not acting like babies are the center of the universe, butthey don’t even seem to be upset about it. It’s unnatural.”

“Unnatural? They don’t act like what we’re used to, but how do you knowhow they’re really feeling inside?”

The words caught her off-guard, and she had to nod in acknowledgement. Itwasn’t fair to judge the Kroo by her standards. After all, she didn’t reallyknow them at all.

In a milder tone, she asked, “Have you seem them after an adult dies?”

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