Page 76 of The Pucking Fake Marriage

“I don’t know.” The truth is that there are so many emotions crashing around inside me that it would be impossible to explain my feelings accurately. Breathing hard, I glance around at Ken’s apartment. I haven’t been in here for a whole month, but it still feels more like home than my place with Haley ever did.

My heart jolts in my chest as I think of what happened after I told Ken I love him. His face was priceless. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look that way before, a mixture of fear and hope and joy all at once. Until that moment, I was sure I was appealing to a block of granite, someone who would never listen to me.

But then, my confession changed everything. It happened so fast, Ken pulling me out of the crowd of people gathered around us and shoving me into a private car. Heasked the driver to head home, telling me that he’d be there shortly so we could talk.

So, in all, not the best-case scenario. It’s not like he accepted my confession by kissing me in front of everyone, or even said it back. But him asking me to come back here makes me hopeful.

Also anxious. Very anxious.

Thankfully, I was able to call Haley. She’s trying her best to distract me from the momentous occasion, but she’s failing miserably.

“Holy shit,” she mutters. “One of your videos just went up to ten million views on TikTok. It’s been one hour!”

“Thanks.” All I need is to imagine how many people are branding me an idiot on social media right now.

“Sorry,” she mutters. “But this is such good publicity for the restaurant! People will be dying to see you.”

“We already have all the publicity we need.” Lots of people were trooping in every day for the chance to eat where Faye once served. It’s gotten so busy that Haley and I started discussing opening a new branch a few days ago. My heart swells with gratitude for the pop icon. Not just because she basically cemented our success, but because of her words, the one that convinced me to go after what I want.

Do you love him enough to do something about it?

I made my decision then and there. Ken is my one true love. He has proven time and again that he would do anything for me. He helped me save my restaurant even when he knew I disliked him, no strings attached.

I need to be willing to do anything for him, too.

I hear the lock click. I stand up, my heart hammering within my chest.

“He’s here,” I mutter, surprised at how normal I soundeven if I’m mentally having a breakdown right now. “I’ve got to go.”

I hang up the call just as Ken walks in. He’s out of his hockey gear and now wearing a pair of brown sweatpants, similar to the ones he had on at Christmas. His facial expression could not be any more different, though. Back then, he looked murderous.

Now, he just looks blank.

“Sorry. Got held up,” he says. His tone is even, indecipherable.

“It’s fine.” I hate the nervous quiver in my voice.

My heart is like a caged hummingbird, beating wildly. I want to say something, but I can’t think of anything appropriate. The silence stretches out between us as we stare at each other. The minutes tick by, and we keep staring.

I barely even notice the time pass. Just looking at Ken feels like a soothing balm for the weeks past, when I was desperate for a glimpse of him. And now…I soak him in again and again. His devastatingly handsome face, his breathtaking body. Best of all,him.His heart, the picture of pure innocence. The boy, the man I was always meant to be with.

“Fuck it,” I hear Ken mutter. In seconds, he’s crossed the room to me. I let out a small gasp as he pulls me to him and kisses me. I melt into a puddle, joy eclipsing me as I put my arms around him.Finally,I think, blinking away tears. For the first time, there’s really nothing standing between us.

But just as suddenly as the kiss started, Ken pulls away from me, taking a step back.

“Wait.” He holds out a hand. His eyes are tortured and clouded with something close to fear as he looks at me. “Wait. Before anything happens, I’ve got to knoweverything. That you mean this. That this isn’t a sick joke. Because…” He breaks off, and I catch a glimpse of the unloved teenage boy he once was. “Because I’ve wanted this for so long, Charles. And I don’t want this to fall apart because you decide in a few months you’re no longer interested.”

Ididhurt him as much as his parents and brother did. My selfish interest in protecting myself at the expense of everything did that. I’d been so obsessed with never getting hurt that I refused to face the obvious. Ken would never hurt me. He would tear himself apart many times over to ensure I was whole. Doesn’t matter how I felt about love growing up under my mother. Ken’s different.

“I mean, just two weeks ago, you heard me tell everyone that my brother caused your broken ankle. And you still believed him when he denied it.”

“No,” I say instantly. “I believed you. But I was too shocked and ashamed to react in that moment. I knew I hurt you more than anyone else on that porch, and I didn’t think you deserved having me around. I thought we could talk when I came back to the city, but you were already gone.”

Ken just stays silent. His eyes are still clouded, and it breaks my heart to see him like this.

“I have a lot to apologize for,” I continue, my voice cracking. “I’ve handled everything poorly since we were kids. But not anymore. I’m ready to turn this into a real marriage, ready to use the rest of my life to show you I’m sorry for everything. You’re always going to be home for me, Ken Edwards.”

I walk over to him now, taking his larger hands in mine. I feel a tremor run through his body before he collapses on me in a hug. I put my arms around him again, my heartbreaking and mending all at once. His own hands roam down my back and hips.

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