Page 23 of The Pucking Fake Marriage

“Whatever.” Even if Coach Tanner were to go off on me like last time, I wouldn’t be nearly as upset. My head is not back where it used to be, but things are better. Much,much better.

“We going back to your place, or you plan on stalking an innocent woman again?”

“Fuck you,” I say, throwing a punch at him. It lands feebly on his shoulder. “It’s not stalking when it’s consensual. Also…let’s go home.”

“Okay, now I’m worried.”

The second punch lands more forcefully than the first. Blake winces, and thankfully, he drops it.

We drive back to my apartment in silence. Blake’s focuson the road is far better than Alex’s, but I notice he’s gripping the steering wheel a little more forcefully than necessary. I don’t need to wonder too much about why he’s so tense, though. Whenever his wife Faye is outside the country for a show, Blake becomes a walking ball of nerves.

It’s almost cute if you think about it in a particular light. Loving someone. Giving your everything to them.

The way I wanted to do with Charlie ever since I was a kid.

I lean back on the plush leather seat, remembering. Kali and I were fifteen, and Charlie had just started dating him. It was still in the early days of their relationship, when I was almost convinced that it was some sort of a joke. That she was going to see sense and leave him.For me.

I was back in the kitchen with Mom. We had differences, my mother and I, but she liked me hanging around when it was time to cook. I displayed far more attention to detail than Kali, for one, and I was always ready to clean up. Kali had just walked in from yet another ballet practice as we pored over the lemon chicken recipe.

“It’s Charlie’s birthday in a few weeks,” my mom said to him. “What are you going to get her?”

I remember feeling quite smug. I was sure Kali was going to say something dumb. Plus, I’d gotten my gift already. Charlie had spoken about a few songs she loved over the past year, and I burned them all onto a CD. He couldn’t get anything better.

Sure enough, Kali shrugged and said, “Ballet shoes.”

Even our mother, who usually acted like the sun shone through Kali’s asshole, couldn’t ignore the incongruity of that statement. But Kali was not deterred. “All ballet dancers wear through their shoes really quickly. She’ll be glad.”

For days, I waited in high anticipation for Charlie’s birthday, when Kali’s gift would confirm the obvious, that he wasn’t the one for her. And then, two days before the day, we were hanging out in my room when she randomly said, “I’mreallyhoping Kali gets me something nice for my birthday.” There was hope in her voice, but also something else. Concern.

Somehow, Charlie knew Kali was going to come up short. Even though she was bracing herself for it, it was still going to sting.

That night, I swapped my gift with Kali’s and gave her the ballet flats that weren’t even her size—fuck Kali to hell, really.

Because I’d rather hurt myself over and over than see her disappointed once.

I repeated the same practice over the next four years. Somewhere in there, Kali managed to figure out the right shoe size. He’d trade them for whatever I got, which was always her most pressing desire of the year.

Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath. Those times are long gone. Now I get to take pleasure in the fact that Charlie Chapman wants me as much as I want her, and I’m not going to be the loser who blinks first.

I have no idea what game she’s playing with me and that gym dude. I’ve mulled it over a couple of times within the last few weeks, and apart from an unfortunately planned threesome, I can’t imagine what she could be getting at. She did say something about a loan, but then, I don’t see where I come in.

I’ve started to wonder if our meeting in Las Vegas was actually a coincidence. Right now, I kind of doubt it. There’s little chance that she just happened to be in the citythe same time I was and also happenedto be down for a fuck.

She did everything back in that city knowing she’d have to disappear. And while it displeases me to think that her sleeping with me might’ve been for something other than wanton pleasure, I won’t dwell on that.

All I’m going to do is make sure that the next time I get to have her—and yes, therewillbe a next time—it’s going to happen only after I’ve dragged it on painfully. The gym episode was only the start of a slow, torturous process.

“Here.”

I look up to see Blake has just pulled up in front of my building. It’s a high-rise complex in the center of Midtown Village. Blake, who had an apartment here before he got married, looks up at the gleaming glass windows. His expression is almost wistful.

“You can get another place here,” I tell him. “They’re always looking for renters.”

“No chance, dude,” he spits, leading me into the foyer.

Using an elevator, we get up to my apartment in less than a minute. I’m not even the least bit shocked to see Alex and Reggie sprawled out on my gray couch, sipping on protein shakes, Alex’s legs resting on my coffee table. I’m only dimly surprised to see that there’s another man in my living room apart from the two of them. He’s perched comfortably on my sofa, and I’m absolutely sure I’ve never seen him before.

“Meet Matt,” Reggie says as we walk in. “He’s going to be taking my place next season.”

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