“Use this.”
She turned to see he was handing her a handkerchief.
“Thank you,” she muttered, wiping her face and hands.
They sat in a companionable silence she was too scared to break.
“Are you feeling better?” he asked finally.
“Yes,” she answered thickly. “I feel much better. But…”
Edward turned to look at her, making the conversation harder than it should have been.
“I am having trouble continuing our charade,” Arabella began, unable to think of anything better to say. “I sit with your family at breakfast and see the way they smile at me, the way they’ve taken me in, and I instantly feel bad because all I’ve done is lie to their faces. I think about how we will separate in a few months, and I’m not going to lie, it is going to be difficult for me because I already feel comfortable being married to you.”
Edward looked stunned, as if he hadn’t been expecting her to say anything about their relationship, but he quickly masked his surprise.
“I don’t know what to say.” He sat back. “I’m sorry you’ve been carrying this burden alone.”
Didn’t he realize it was words like this that weakened her resolve?
“You’re not making this any easier.” She laughed darkly.
He smiled softly at her. “What would you have me do, then?”
Did she even know?
“I need us to make both our families believe that we were a terrible match.”
He nodded.
“You already make it easy because you don’t sleep in my chamber, so we could just…”
“Why do you think I don’t sleep in your chamber?” he asked her suddenly.
She looked at him, frowning. She wondered if she could be that honest. “I just assumed your attraction to me had passed the moment you were forced to wed me.”
It wasn’t an easy thing to admit, but she was tired of the lies she’d become too familiar with.
He suddenly laughed loudly, slapping his knee.
His unrestrained amusement annoyed her greatly. Why would he find her words funny?
She got up, storming down the dirt road. How dare he make her feelings so trivial?
“Arabella, you shouldn’t walk alone,” he called after her.
“Leave me be, Edward.”
“I cannot.” He jogged up to her, stopping her with a hand on her arm. “You’re angry because of a falsehood. But since you’re being honest, I’ll do the same. I don’t stay away from you because I’m not attracted to you. I stay away because you evoke a flame in me that’s hotter than anything I’ve experienced, and I fear that if I were to stay so close to you, I won’t be able to control my desire.”
Arabella’s eyes widened at his admission.
“I don’t need to touch you to be driven wild.” He pulled her to his chest, “All I need is to be near you, and all my senses will go mad.”
A thick lump formed in her throat that she had a hard time swallowing. Liquid heat pooled in her blood and flowed towards that spot between her legs.
If he felt this much desire for her, why had he never said anything?