Page 48 of Breeding Clinic

Matthew holds his slick-coated fingers up for Liam to swipe at with his tongue. Liam purrs while he licks the beta clean. And then he turns his attention to me, hugging me against him and covering me with the fuzzy blanket again. Tucking me in so I don’t get cold.

Matthew settles down with his head propped up on one arm. “Thank you.”

“Anytime.” I mean it. Anytime he wants to finger me like that, all he has to do is crook a finger. The guy is blessed with a natural gift.

When Liam’s knot softens, he slips out in a mess of cum and slick. Thank goodness for stain-guarded bedding. We lie there, recovering slowly.

“Can I ask you another question?” Matthew asks.

I nod, too tired for words.

“I noticed it a while ago, but we decided to wait for you tobring it up. But you never did. What happened to your old pack?”

The question is so out of left field that my brain takes a moment to process it. I blink rapidly. “What?”

“You have an old mating bite on your neck,” he says. “That’s what it is, right?”

My teeth clench. It’s a fair question. Something I should have brought up by now, but couldn’t. I still get a lump in my throat when I think about it too much. It’s been three years. I thought I’d be over it by now. But I’m not sure you ever really forget about your first love.

“We were high school sweethearts,” I say. “Josh and me. We thought it was so lucky for us to get into the same college. I studied some of everything. I hadn’t decided what I wanted to do yet, and he was there on a sports scholarship.”

I play with a corner of the blanket and refuse to look at either of them while I tell them the story. “During one of my heats, we slipped up with our birth control. I got pregnant. So we got mated. And then he was recruited. I quit school to follow him and the team. What else was I supposed to do? When I lost that pregnancy, it was sad. But I think both of us were relieved too. We were so young. I wanted kids, but living in a new town, away from my family and my friends, with nothing to do all day while he was busy training… I was depressed. It didn’t seem like the right time.”

Liam hooks me around my ribs, dragging me flush against him. He purrs, a low sound that makes my breathing come more easily. It’s comforting and sweet.

“Josh hit it off with one of his teammates and I became interested in one of the journalists we saw a lot. We met at one of the big social events. Things were better for a bit. He was happier, so that took pressure off me.

“A few years later we tried to get pregnant on purpose. Westruggled. I thought I was being punished for being relieved that the first pregnancy didn’t take. I got depressed again. Stopped going to events that weren’t really optional. Barely wanted to leave my nest. Everything was such a chore and I had zero energy for any of it.

“And then he had a great string of games. He got recruited again. Transferred to a better league. He was so happy. But I hated the surge in media coverage. The constant need to beon. Hair done, makeup perfect, squeezed into compression underwear, feet pinched into high heels. Looking effortlessly beautiful. Because someone was always watching. Filming. Taking photos.

“I never really clicked with the other players’ spouses. I had a few I was friendly with but nobody I was really close to. I stopped enjoying the parties and events again.

“I wanted to keep trying after our losses. Thought it was the only thing that would make me happy again. They were ready to give up. After a while, it was clear we wanted different lives. They moved on.”

Without me.I don’t have to say the last part out loud. It hangs in the air unsaid between us.

Matthew takes my hand and squeezes it. “I’m sorry.”

My smile is bittersweet. All of that hurt at the time. So badly that sometimes I thought it might kill me. But it didn’t. And now I’m on the cusp of maybe getting everything I’ve ever wanted. It’s terrifying. Because I want it so badly. My stomach is sick with bouts of anxiety that come and go.

“They abandoned you?” Liam growls.

His anger is validating. I was so angry too, once the heartbreak faded a bit. Now I’m mostly numb after three years.

“It wasn’t their fault. Sometimes bad things happen. And we weren’t a perfect match to begin with. It was young love. Puppy love. If we’d gone to different colleges, our lives probablywould have turned out totally different. I doubt we would have stayed together.”

Part of me wishes I’d picked a different school. That we’d lived in another neighborhood and I never met Josh. That I’d listened to my parents and chosen a career over a boy. But I thought I was in love. That we were fated to be together.

“Still,” Liam grumbles.

“I’m sorry you went through that, but I’m glad you’re here,” Matthew says. “You know, I was worried about the co-parenting thing in the beginning.”

“You were?” Liam asks, sitting upright to look over me.

“Giving our baby up to a stranger for half the week? No, I wasn’t thrilled with it. But a lot of omegas like to make their packs instead of joining one that’s already formed. What choice did we have? It was co-parenting, surrogacy, or adoption. Both of those other options are a lot harder and more expensive to do.”

“I wish you’d told me this,” Liam said. “We could have talked about it.”

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