Page 61 of Heat Clinic

“You are theworststoryteller,” she says.

“Fine. So Sam was my… spa attendant. And we… enjoyed the sauna together. And then Marcus came—”

“Yeah,” she interrupts, snorting with amusement. “I’ll bet he did.”

I glare at her as she sips on her iced tea. “Anyway… Marcus came to the spa, and he realized we, uh… I’m running out of metaphors here.”

“He planted his flag?”

I sigh. “Flags don’t really have anything to do with spas, but right. He planted his flag, and we both felt like it was the right flag, so he called his partner Tom who flew in and… he planted his flag too.” I leave out the part where theyplanted their flagsin the same hole.

“That’s a lot of flags in your golf course.”

I level a look at her because she’s far too amused by all of this. “It’s a spa, not a country club.”

“Some country clubs have spas in them.”

I stand and push my chair in and grab my trash so I can toss it out. “I have to go to HR and fill out those forms. Do you want to hang out tonight before I go?”

“Yeah! Let’s do that. Do you want to stay in or go out?” she asks.

“I want to pick up a new book for the trip. Want to go to the bookstore with me?”

She agrees and we set a time and location, and I walk to HR feeling lighter and happier. The woman in HR offers me congratulations and helps me fill out the forms. The paid leave is only a percentage of my salary, but it’s enough to cover my rent and utilities while I’m gone, since I assume I won’t be buying groceries or gas.

That night when I’m back home with three books shoved into my luggage, I take a moment to look around my apartment and make sure everything is in order. I clean out the old takeout and leftovers from my fridge so they don’t spoil, and then I take out the trash before I dust and vacuum.

The house sitter will come over after I leave in the morning, so I write out detailed notes with phone numbers and the day that recycling comes, and then I look at my plant babies and write notes on post-its and stick them on each pot. I’ll put a key under the mat in the morning. I almost don’t care if she thinks I’m insane for giving her watering, feeding, and sunlight instructions for each plant. How else is she going to know that some of them get balcony time on the weekends? And I’ve had some of these plants since I was a teenager.

I am showered. My outfit for tomorrow is laid out. Sam helped me pick it and has forbidden me from changing it. Again. I am packed… and I can’t sleep.

I’m too nervous about tomorrow. What if they change their minds? They’re not gonna change their minds. What if I sleep through my alarm and I’m not ready when they come to pick me up? I set five more alarms spaced at various intervals ranging from three minutes to ten and give each one a different ring tone. There’s no way I can sleep through that many.Maybe I should start one of my books.

My mind races too much to stay focused for more than a few paragraphs at a time, and when I realize I’ve read a few pages while absorbing nothing, I give up. I shove it back into my bag’s exterior pouch.

My phone chirps with a text. “Oh, thank God.”Wait, what if they’re canceling?

Sam

Stop panicking

Emily

It’s who I am

Don’t judge me

You need to relax

Wanna know what’s very relaxing?

Orgasms?

I was going to say cookies you naughty girl but I like your idea better

Come outside and you can have both

He’s here?I slip my feet into my ratty house slippers and head outside, not caring that I’m braless and wearing old, mismatched pajamas. My neighbors have seen worse.

---