Page 16 of My Alien Jewel

However, Z’Ree gives me a shaky nod. What a brave female.

“Great. I’ll be right back. Eat something, please. Your body needs fuel.” I don’t know what her fucking owners were feeding her, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was just some alien version of a stale bread and water prison diet.

I search the ship, checking the crew quarters and the bridge, but D’Aakh is nowhere to be found. Feeling brave, I set up the portable node updater myself with Cai’s assistance. It’s probably for the better. The quirky AI is happy to help and she doesn’t ask nagging questions like, who do I need the update for when everyone on board the Supernova already has it installed? She probably already knows about Z’Ree, since a major part of her programming is to constantly survey the ship, but Zarkan must have ordered her not to mention our stowaway.

I literally run back to the storage room, eager to see Z’Ree again after being away from her for a whole fifteen minutes. I’m in so much trouble, I think, when I feel my heart somersaulting at just the thought of being in her presence again. I should be ashamed of this growing obsession but I can’t find it in me to care.

In my rush to get back to Z’Ree, I trip over my own feet, landing painfully on my elbow. Groaning and laughing at my own stupidity, I pick myself off the floor and try straightening my arm. It hurts like a motherfucker but I can still move it and there are no sharp spikes of pain, which probably means thatnothing is broken. I’m just going to have a nice bruise to remind me that I can’t run to save my life.

Thank god my erection has deflated somewhat because with my luck, I would have hit my cock as well and that would have definitely resulted in more than just a painful groan from me.

Holding my breath, I reenter the storage room and look around. Z’Ree is nowhere to be found. I sigh resignedly. I understand her fear, even if I am a little disappointed she’s not here.

To my surprise, the hatch on the wall inches open and she peeks out from behind it, her face peering at me with a cautious smile. The relief is instant as I realize she didn’t run away. She was just waiting for me in a place she perceives to be safe. “Brave girl,” I mumble, wincing when I hear the stupid datapad I left on the floor translate my words. God, I’m an idiot.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound condescending,” I say. “I really do think you’re brave, though.”

Z’Ree scoffs and shakes her head.

“No? Z’Ree, you’re a badass. To be as frightened as you are and still take a risk on me…that’s the highest level of bravery. Now, will you let me use this on you,” I hold up the node updater device, “so that we can turn the damned datapad off? Because, truth be told, it’s grating on my nerves too.”

Chapter 9

Z’Ree

I warily appraise thedevice in Nikolai’s hand. It’s shaped like a small gun and it could be filled with anything. He could use it to inject me with sedatives. Except, I’m starting to think he wouldn’t do that. Would he?

I’m facing the terrible dilemma of both wanting and not wanting to trust this handsome human. Of course, Iwantto trust him. I’d give anything to believe I’m finally safe, surrounded by people who’d fight back against the evil ones that have destroyed my life. But also…I don’t want to.

It’s difficult to explain and it probably makes me sound insane, but this life is all I know. I know how to be a slave. I hate it and I’m terrified of it but if I’m no longer a slave, then what am I? What will I do? Where will I go?

Nikolai mentioned removing my collar. This dreaded noose has been a constant reminder that I am nothing but an object. Merely someone else’s possession to do with as they please.

But if Nikolai actually does remove it and I’m no longer an object, then what am I? I have this irrational fear that if I take the collar off, I’ll become nothing and…simply vanish into thin air. It’s ridiculous and yet, my mind keeps circling back to this thought so often it makes me want to cry.

He saw my tears earlier. He only needs to do a quick search and he’ll figure out that I’m a Silithrae. What is he going to do when he finds out that underneath all of the filth and grime, there’s a priceless jewel, right at his fingertips? Will he still see me as Z’Ree, or will he just see a means to live out the rest of his life in luxury?

I guess it’s out of my control. Nikolai is smart. He won’t take long to figure it out. The Silithrae are considered extinct, but that doesn’t mean that data about us isn’t in every decent database.

He’s still waiting for my decision about the node update, giving me a choice.

I don’t know how to choose. I haven’t been allowed to decide anything for myself in years and now, even the simplest of thoughts are making me freeze and spiral into panic.

This should be a simple decision, though. I like Nikolai’s voice and I want to be able to understand him. I trust he won’t hurt me. There’s really nothing holding me back other than my fucked up mind.

My nod is little more than a tiny jerk of the head, my fists clenched to stop my hands from shaking. He’s not going to hurt me, I repeat to myself as he approaches. He’s moving slowly,avoiding sudden motions as if he thinks I’m a frightened animal. I guess I am one. I won’t bite him, but I’m definitely on the verge of fleeing for my life.

“It’s okay,” he says, crouching beside me. “I won’t hurt you. I promise.”

I nod again, squeezing my eyes shut tightly as I put my life in his hands. Surprisingly, the tension drains away. There’s something comforting in the fact that Nikolai is the one making the decisions now. He is the one with all of the power. No matter what he orders me to do, I’ll comply. It’s the only way I know how to survive.

His breath gently tickles my neck as I feel the slightest tug on the rag I’ve wrapped around my head to conceal my hair. “I need to move this aside just a little bit. I’ll put it right back when I’m done.” When I don’t protest, he pushes away the fabric, sliding it away from my ear. I’m sure he can see some of my hair, but he doesn’t comment on it.

“Almost done.” Something cold presses against the skin behind my ear. It feels so much like the barrel of a gun that if I wasn’t in my “slave space”, I would have bolted immediately. But I’ve given total control to Nikolai and he hasn’t ordered me to move, so I stay still.

A beep, followed by a sharp pain stabs through the base of my skull for a microsecond. It dissipates immediately, leaving only dull throbbing behind. Without hesitation, Nikolai moves to the other side and repeats the process. This time, I can’t hold back the muffled whimper that escapes me as the pain flashes through my brain.

“Shh, it’s done,” he soothes as he readjusts the scarf over my hair. “I’m sorry, but I don’t think there’s any way to do the update without the brief pain. I brought some analgesics to help with the headache. Do you want them?”

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