Page 65 of Last Round

Friends

Molly

Iscrewedup.Royally…

Yesterday, I should’ve just gone to Killian’s. Told Sean that I’m crashing at Bex’s or the truth for all I fucking care. Not like I need his permission to date. I’m a grown-ass woman.

Instead, I crawled deep into my familiar hole of despair and self-doubt. Embraced the safety it offered. The only thing that kept me from truly plunging myself into a dark, downward spiral was the pained expression Killian had on his handsome face when I declined going home with him. It was like one of those wrecks, where you see it coming in slow motion but instead of turning away from danger, I kept driving straight into disaster.

I managed to avoid the gym yesterday, telling Sean that I’d work from home. My plan was to talk to Killian at the bar. I was prepared to beg for forgiveness. Hope that I hadn’t ruined this when it was just starting. Except he’s not on the schedule anymore. When I casually asked my brother about it, he informed me that Killian’s focus is now one hundred percent on the gym andTony.

Why me?

I gently slam my head on the wall. I wish I could go back to Sunday. Back to Killian and me lying in bed. The only worry either of us had was who was going to get dressed to meet the pizza delivery guy at the door. Which ended up being Kill. Even fully dressed, he claimed my orgasmic afterglow was too intoxicating. That any man who saw me would immediately have a hard-on. God, he’s so wonderfully insane sometimes. Just another part of him I love. He has the biggest ego of anyone I’ve ever met, yet he talks about me as if he’s the lucky one. Like it’s him who should be grateful that I’m giving him the time of day. Not in an insecure way. It’s just… I spent so long looking up to him. Viewed him as absolutely unattainable. To have him worship me the way he does…

It’s amazing.

Which is why I’m here, at the gym, AKA the last place I want to step foot in. But I have to. For him, for us. I need to explain, fix this, before everything falls apart. I tried texting, replying to him when he reached out, but ended up deleting everything I typed—it’s a conversation that needs to be had in person. I need him to see me, see the truth in me, believe that this has nothing to do with him and all to do with me.

Taking a deep breath, I pull up my big-girl panties and step into the gym. Tony is off working with one of the guys. Fortunately, I don’t see Killian nearby and take the opportunity to sneak back to the offices. I peek into his open door. He’s sitting at his desk writing in a notebook.

Killian glances up the instant the door clicks shut. His brows pull together as he looks at me. My heart breaks because it feels like we’re back at ground zero.Shit, I need to fix this.

“Hi,” I say cautiously, stepping farther into his space.

Killian leans back in his chair, studying me with his arms crossed. “Hi,” he replies with a guarded tone.

“I’m sorry.” I bite my bottom lip.

“I texted you, but you didn’t text me back.” He breaks eye contact with me, shakes his head, and looks back down at his notes. “Not even to just tell me you were okay.”

Crap, I really hurt him.

Tears well in my eyes while fear that I’m already too late rips my heart from my chest. Killian bolts from his chair and rushes over to me. He wraps me up in his thick arms. I melt into his touch.

“I was just worried,” Killian explains. “I’m not mad… Shit, I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m… I didn’t…”Hiccup. “Mean to drop off like that.”

Killian pulls back and takes my face into his palms. “What’s wrong? Something’s off. I took it too far, didn’t I? You can tell me… I’ll fix it… whatever it is. Just talk to me.”

“Oh my god, Killian, I’m so sorry.” I’m full-on sobbing now. “I didn’t mean to make you think… You didn’t do anything wrong,” I assure him. “This is all me. It’s all my fault.”

“Whatever it is, I’ll help you. But you need to fill me in.” He squeezes me tight, resting his chin on my head. “Please, whatever it is, let me in.”

His request is the last straw. I’m thankful he’s still holding me, brushing my hair back. Because I can’t stand to look at him as I confess, “I know Tony.”

Killian’s body goes stiff. “You know him?” The silence is suffocating as he thinks. “From New York?”

“We… used to… he’s my ex.” Killian’s grip on me tightens when I add, “We broke up a while ago, long before I moved back. Seeing him the other day, I was caught off guard.”

“Because you still have… feelings for him?”

“Oh god, no.” I pull back to stare into his baby blues. “Believe me, the only feeling for him I have is contempt.”

“It was a bad breakup?” Killian rubs my arms.

“Yeah.” I swallow hard.Badseems like such a simple, inadequate term to explain my and Tony’s relationship.

---