Carpal Tunnel
Molly
Sometimes,andIhaveno idea why, but I ask myself:what was it that initially attracted me to Killian?
Obviously, he’s hot with a body carved by the gods. It’s only gotten finer with age—add in the ink he’s acquired over the years and the man may as well be God’s gift to women. That being said, I’ve encountered numerous guys who arehotand hightailed it about two seconds into the conversation when I realized there was nothing beyond their appearance to draw me to them.
Bex says it’s the taboo factor. Which makes that tingle he gives me a tad more special. But my marketing professor was by all definitions attractive and young. Obviously, that would’ve been very taboo. However, despite his good looks and ability to hold an interesting conversation, he did nothing for me. While I can admit that the imaginary barrier of Killian being my older brother’s best friend adds some spice, it’s not the root of my attraction, only another layer.
Okay, let’s be real. My list of things about Killian that drive me wild is extensive… ridiculously so. But beyond his looks, personality, his big heart… at the very top of it all, the first thing that drew me to him was his focus. For as long as I can remember, he’s had this intense stare going on, especially when he was training. At first, I think I just wanted to see what he did. Figure out what was going on in that head of his. One day, that curiosity morphed into something that made my stomach do backflips. I started to dream about him looking at me the same way, desperate to be the object of his undivided attention. Even now, he’s just sitting in the office, carefully studying the ledger, and my knees are weak as I desperately wish I could trade places with the documents on his desk.
Especially on his desk. Legs spread wide, resting on his shoulders, as he shows me just how focused he can be on my—
“Whatcha looking at?” Chelsea asks. I jump as she leans in to follow my line of sight.
At this angle, I can just barely see him. I was hoping no one would notice that this table has been wiped so many times the surface has become reflective. It’s officially the cleanest table in all of St. Paul.
Chelsea looks back at me with a giant shit-eating grin. “Are you guys doing it yet?”
I shush her. “For your information, no.”
“Seriously? You’ve both had these dopey smiles on your faces all week. With the amount of longing stares I’ve been catching y’all in, I assumed you finally escalated past the teasing stage.”
“Kind of,” I sigh.
“Oh really? Do tell.” Resting her elbows on the table, Chelsea looks up at me with her cartoon-sized princess eyes. Some days I seriously wonder if woodland creatures help get her dressed in the morning.
Glancing around, I make sure no one’s within earshot. “Can you keep a secret?”
“From the right people? Sure.”
That wasn’t exactly the answer I was hoping for, but I will take what I can get. As much as I appreciate Bex’s advice—I mean it got me this far—her suggestions are a bit beyond what I’m willing to do. “We had a date.”
“A date?” Chelsea gasps. “Killian? I haven’t known him that long, but for some reason, that feels like a big deal.”
“It was his first.” I give her a satisfied grin. Because I’m sorry, this is K.O. Murphy, the idea he has any firsts left to give is astounding, and he gave it to me.
“How was it?”
“Amazing,” I exhale.
“But…?” Chelsea quickly reads between the lines.
“We haven’t progressed past the stage of kissing and dry-humping.”
“I’m not one to judge.” She points to her large stomach. “But I wouldn’t worry about not having sex after the first date.”
“That’s the thing though. We’ve beensleepingtogether. Not together,together. Or even in the same bed honestly.”
Chelsea laughs. “What kind of sleeping together are you doing then?”
“The kind where we spend all day together, between the gym and the bar, then I go back to his apartment. We eat, watch movies, talk and laugh until I can’t keep my eyes open. Then he carries me to his bed, tucks me in, and sleeps on the couch like a perfect fucking gentleman.”
“Still—”
“Logically, I know this is normal. People go on dates, get to know each other, develop the deep desire to tear each other’s clothes off and then contemplate what a future together could be like.”
“But you already know each other, the desires are already there, and that future has already been planned.”