Page 5 of Last Round

I shoot her my signature panty-melting grin. “What brings you here tonight?”

Her face glows a deeper shade of red. “I just got into town.” She sucks her pink lip between her teeth.

“Well, lass, it just so happens I know all the best places ‘round. Startin’ with this pub.” I purposely brush her cheek as I tuck a loose curl behind her ear. “Perhaps I can give ya a private tour.”

She opens her mouth as though she’s about to ask a question, but snaps it shut.

Okay, I need to turn up the charm.

I lean down and whisper, “Of the supply closet. It’s one of thehottesttourist destinations in the city.”

Pulling back, I pause, excited to see how dark her blush can turn. She’s crimson all right. Except, instead of her being doe-eyed, her brow is furrowed and I could swear I see smoke spouting from her flared nostrils. I guess I laid it on a bit too strong. She must need a bit more wooing. But before I can attempt a smooth recovery, I’m blinded by an ice-cold beverage being thrown in my face.

“Fuck,” I groan as I wipe at my eyes. I’ve been turned down before—it’s rare—but it happens on the occasion. “I can think of a better way to have my face dripping, one that doesn’t involve wasting perfectly good booze.” I chuckle. “I think we got off on the wrong foot—”

I blink away the alcohol, only to find that she’s gone. All that remains is the empty glass on the table. I glance around, but she’s nowhere to be seen. Before she can get too far, I rush to the front door. I look up and down the street, swiping at the usual haze of cigarette smoke collecting at the threshold. Nothing.

Shoulders slumped, I return to the bar. Defeated.

“What happened to you?” Sean asks.

“She got away,” I say as I rest my elbows on the bar and my face in my hands.

“Who?” Sean scans the crowd. “I want to buy her a drink.”

“Fuck off,” I groan, tossing a lemon wedge at his face.

Sean laughs, pouring me a drink. “Here, this should cure your infatuation.”

“Doubt it.” I swallow down the liquid.

“Sorry, bud. There’re plenty of chicks here tonight. I’m sure you’ll find someone to fluff your ego.”

“You don’t get it, Sean.” I turn and look him in the eye. “You remember that Halloween we all dressed up as old school WWF wrestlers and I lost that stupid fucking bet to Danny?” It’s uncommon for me to lose a wager. Especially one that involves tequila. But on those rare occasions when I do…I fucking lose.

Sean ponders for a moment before recognition dawns on him. “Yeah, he was dressed like the Ultimate Warrior.” He scrunches his brow. “Who were you that night? I was so smashed I can barely remember.”

“Hulk Hogan.”

He bursts out in laughter. “Oh yeah. You make a shitty blonde by the way.”

“Not the point.” I rein him back in. “Anyway… remember how I had to let him fucking Gorilla Press Drop me, then finish off with that stupid Running Splash?”

“Oh yeah.” He chuckles. “What about it? Is he here?” Sean searches the crowd again. “Does he want to reenact it? I’d fucking pay to relive that. We got phones now. I can record that shit and watch it on replay.”

“No, just… remember how I had the fucking wind knocked out of me?”

“Yeah.” He shakes his head. “Wait? Dude, how drunk are you? What does this have to do with whatever chick had enough self-respect to turn you down?”

“It was like that… It was like she fucking Ultimate Warrior’d my ass. But worse.”

Sean scratches his head. “You were breathless?”

“Yes! That. Just like all that fucking nonsense my sister used to go on about. It was that.”

Sean covers his mouth, but I hear his chuckle. “That sounds horrible.”

“It was.” I grab a pint and pour myself a beer. “She’s gone, and I don’t even know her name.” I swallow down the knowledge along with my Murphy’s. Hopefully, this will help me drown my sorrows.

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