Page 19 of Shadow of the Moon

One of Devlin’s fingers ran down her cheek. Amberly was pissed at herself because she wanted to nuzzle into that touch, like she was a starving woman. She was stronger than that, damn it! For three years, she’d taken care of herself because she had no other choice.

The stroke of his finger reminded her what it had felt like to be with him, though. Devlin had taken care of her more than any other person she’d ever been with, and he’d relished pleasing her sexually. Those hard hands that could kill and manipulate every weapon the Navy offered could so effortlessly soften on her like silk. Every single touch had meaning and promise and could lead to intense pleasure. That lone finger had started so many passionate incidents.

Amberly could see the memory of it in his gaze, as well. Devlin’s Adam’s apple bounced as he swallowed and glanced away. Then he looked back, the expression on his face unexpectedly vulnerable. “It’s been a while, babe. Thank you for looking at me like that. It makes me think of happier times.”

“Me too,” she admitted. She couldn’t move if her life depended upon it. Actually, she realized she was leaning a little toward him.

That was all the motivation Devlin needed, because he cupped her head and kissed the hell out of her.

Amberly hated being weak and giving in, but it had been so long since she’d been held or kissed. Or even touched. Was this just an overreaction to being near a man she knew had cared for her? After her divorce she’d been asked out, but none of them had seemed right, so she’d said no. That, of course, led to a whole new string of issues at work. She didn’t mind being called cold by the men she turned down. It just supported what her intuition had been telling her when she’d turned them down.

Devlin tilted his head, kissing her deeper, and she wondered what the hell she was doing. This man had violated her trust, as well as that of so many other people. But he’d been her love, her heart, for so much longer.

He was the one to draw back, and she thought she saw a quiver in his hand as he lowered it from her face. “Proximity,” he said simply.

Anger sparked in her gut. “Seriously? So, any female you got close with would have sufficed?”

He drew back, obviously startled. “Fuck, no. That’s not what I meant at all. Just that, I know you wouldn’t want me, specifically, touching you. I know how much I hurt you, and I’m sorry. I don’t think you were open to hearing it then, but I am so incredibly sorry things happened the way they did.”

Amberly struggled with all the words that wanted to spew out of her mouth. She did want to scream and rail at him, but it wouldn’t do any good. It was over and done with. Right?

“Just, why?” she said, eventually. “I mean, we were making good money. We had no real bills to speak of. Everything was covered. What would make you try to take Regent out? Was it an ego thing?”

Devlin looked down at his boots, mouth pursed. “You wouldn’t… It doesn’t matter anymore. I don’t want to talk about it.”

He moved to get off the bed, and she grabbed his arm. “What the hell, dude? You ruin my life and now you don’t want to talk about it? Are you serious?”

“You won’t like the answers I give you,” he snapped, “so you might as well float along in your little bubble as long as you can.”

She jerked back. “What are you talking about? I’m not in a bubble.”

Devlin snorted and pulled away. “Right. I’m going to shower.”

Turning, he headed for the bathroom, snapping the door closed behind himself. Within a few seconds, she heard the water start up. Images of Devlin in the shower with her assaulted her, redirecting the anger he’d sparked in her. Many times, they’d showered together, just because they couldn’t stand to be apart. The shower had always led to other things, which usually led back to the shower.

Snorting, she dropped back onto the bed, her throat tight and her heart thumping. Her body was betraying her, reacting to him like they’d been apart for a long deployment. It didn’t seem to understand that the emotional aspect had changed.

Reaching down, she stroked her fingers over her mound, remembering how Devlin used to kiss her there. Her fingers swirled, rubbing outside the cloth, wondering if she dare reach beneath. No, he would return soon. Closing her eyes, she allowed herself to imagine, just for a moment, that it was his hands on her. Giving her pleasure the way they used to. Taking care of her the way they used to.

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