Page 41 of Embattled Return

Logan sank back in the chair, his mind trying to cope with everything he’d learned. It was... horrifying. And it made a terrible, maniacal kind of sense. Even when he was a child, he remembered family members. He had no idea who they’d been, but he remembered playing in a big ranch house with other little kids. His parents had always claimed that that had been at a babysitter’s house.

He could understand his father lying, but his mother? Why had she gone along with all this?

Because she loved her husband.

Logan had lived a life of lies that his parents had created.

“Is that all of the information you have?” he asked finally, looking up at John.

He handed over one more piece of paper. “That was where your father filed to have his name officially changed.” His eyes kind, the older man leaned forward on the desk. “If you want I can approach the family on your behalf and confirm what I’ve found, but it seems pretty cut and dried.”

“Yes, it does,” Logan murmured. He shuffled the papers, putting them in order. “I think... I’ll deal with this.”

“That’s completely your right. And it’s not something that you have to move on right now. You know? They’ve waited twenty years. They can wait a few more weeks. Chill out, explore Colorado and Denver. Maybe take out a girl...” he grinned.

He couldn’t quite return the good humor. “Yeah. Thanks, John. I know Shannon was taking pity on me in that airport, but I’m really glad you talked me into accepting your help.”

“I am, too, Logan. You had the look of a man on the edge.”

He barked out a laugh. “You have no idea.”

John leaned even further forward across the desk, staring at him intently. “Logan, I want you to listen to me very carefully. I do have an idea. I contemplated ending it all more times than I dare say out loud, but I kept rolling along, knowing that I was at the bottom of the barrel and that I couldn’t get any lower. And I was right. Duncan showed up with a job offer, which was a huge thing. Then I met Shannon. She is my salvation. And my kids...” his voice went rough, and Logan could see how much he loved them. “They are miracles. Both of them. And I don’t deserve them but it doesn’t matter because I’m never giving them up.”

The fierceness in his eyes said everything, and Logan smiled. Then he made the harsh comparison to his own father. “I’m glad you love them that way, Gunny. Not every kid has that.”

“I know. I have no idea who my father was. So,” John said, taking an expansive breath. “Before you pull that trigger or pop those pills, you need to remember that there are people here for you. You have my number and Shannon’s. I’ll give you the whole directory to the LNF crew, because it’s occurred to every single one of us, but we found our way through. You will too.”

The stark words meant a lot to him. “I’m trying. it just feels like I’m drowning, sometimes.”

John nodded. “It does. But there are people and processes in place to ensure that you don’t. If you let them in.”

Logan thought about that. It had been so long since he’d let anyone in, or even dared hope that anyone would be there for him. Miller had been the last one he’d relied upon, and he’d let him down. Fuck, and now Logan was letting him down by not being there for his family.

“There’s also a job if you want it.”

Logan blinked, not sure he’d heard him correctly. “What?”

“You heard me. We have an investigator going out on maternity leave so we’re a little short-handed. If you don’t mind starting with basic stuff while we get you certified, we have a place for you.”

Logan couldn’t even process what he’d said. “Why would you offer me a job? You don’t know me.”

John tilted his head, smirking. “Consider it my good deed for the year, taking on a Ground Pounder. And I do know you. You’re a former intelligence officer and a veteran. You came to my wife’s rescue even though you thought it was a ruse. I’d be a fool not to hire you.”

Logan scowled. “I didn’t do very good as an intelligence officer finding my own family.”

John shrugged. “And you wouldn’t. You were too close to it. You never would have believed that your dad changed his name, and your whole family’s name. It wouldn’t even have occurred to you. Lucky for you, you had us,” he grinned.

Shaking his head, Logan didn’t even know what to say. John was probably right. About everything, actually. “I need to think about all this.”

John nodded, circling the desk. “I would expect you to. You have a lot to absorb.”

Logan reached out and shook John’s hand, but John pulled him into a shoulder-hug. “Don’t let it overwhelm you,” he said firmly.

Logan nodded, pulling back and bracing his crutches to get up. His body ached and he needed some time alone. “I’ll give you a call,” he told John, before he left the office.

When he entered the reception area Marigold glanced up and she seemed to sense that he needed to get out of there. She murmured something to Shannon, grabbed her coat and bag and met him at the door.

“Come on, I’ll take you to the house.”

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