Page 46 of Embattled Ever After

For as long as she could remember, Alex had wanted kids. Every once in a while even her dad would mention being a grandpa. They’d always been a small family, but Alex didn’t want the name to fade into nothing. Sheneededto have kids.

Yes, she had time. But could her heart survive a disastrous love affair? Did she dare risk it?

She could understand Duncan’s reluctance. He was getting older. When he should be looking toward retirement she would expect him to rewind the clock and start over. That was a lot to ask.

She heard a truck start outside. John and Shannon were leaving. Just in the small amount of time she’d been with them she could tell they could have been great friends. Shannon had a natural warmth to her that drew people to her. Alex would miss her the most. Actually, watching John deal with twins would have been pretty funny. He did not seem the baby type. But the dazed excitement and the love in his eyes as he looked at Shannon told her he would be willing to try his best.

Alex worried Duncan would come knock on her door, but it was quiet. Laying down on the bed, she tried to decide what to do. She also tried not be disappointed when he didn’t come to check on her at all.

Chapter Thirteen

Duncan felt like hewas going to be sick. He and Alex had been good until those few words in response to Shannon’s hopeful question changed everything. He’d known as soon as he’d said them that he should have been more circumspect in his response, because Alex had come around the corner looking like she’d just been shot.

Shit. What the hell was he supposed to do now?

Though she hadn’t set a departure date, he had a gut feeling he’d just accelerated her leaving. Words. Just hurtful words.

But it was how he felt. He was on the downhill of his forties. Did he really want to have a baby now? Be responsible for another living being now?

Anxiety rolled through him and he wondered what the hell he could do to change it all.

For as long as he could remember, he’d been in charge of people. When he was a kid and started at his dad’s print shop, he’d been in charge of his younger brother. Then he’d joined the Marines and been put in charge of hundreds of others over the years. Leadership had always come easy to him.

But leadership carried a lot of responsibility too. For years he had sent kids into war and in spite of his best efforts, they hadn’t all returned. There was a list of forty-two names on his ribs attesting to that fact. Granted, his company had a far lower mortality rate than many others, but every loss hurt.

Losing those men had been bad enough, but he couldn’t imagine losing his own child. Or sending his own child off to war.God.But was that fear enough to not take on the responsibility of being a father?

He didn’t know. Honestly, things were moving really fast right now and he wasn’t sure how to slow them down.

Should he go talk to her? He glanced at the closed bedroom door. There was no light under it, so maybe she had gone to bed. Or maybe she was just avoiding him.

Bitterness coated his tongue. Alex was an incredible woman and he’d hurt her. He knew that.

Subconsciously, had he been hoping she would hear his words? No, that was stupid. They had been getting along like they’d always been together.

Maybe it would be better if she did just go. Then she wouldn’t have to watch him physically degenerate before her eyes. Because the level he was at now was probably the best he would ever be. Would it be fair to her to be tied to a cripple?

As much as he hated to admit it, maybe she should leave. Maybe it would be less heartache in the long run. He didn’t want to think of her ever looking at him with pity… or worse.

Duncan swallowed hard and glanced at the clock. Time for the evening news, if he wanted to watch it. He didn’t. It was too early to go to bed. They’d already hit the hot tub. If he could find his tablet, maybe he could catch up on emails.

Three hours later he sat stewing, staring at the screen of his tablet until it faded. He hadn’t gotten shit done.

Alex moved around in the room. He thought he’d been imagining it, but he could see a faint shadow under the door. Did he dare knock?

Yes. He needed some things settled in his mind. Wondering if she was going to leave was going to give him an ulcer.

Moving down the hallway he knocked softly on her bedroom door. After a few seconds she opened it a crack.

Duncan’s mind got sidetracked when he saw what she wore, a barely there, off the shoulder blue T-shirt that fell to mid-thigh. And nothing else that he could see.

“Hey,” he said softly. “How are your aches?”

She shrugged and looked away. “They’re okay.”

“Do you want to come out and talk to me?” he asked finally.

She sighed, running her hand through her hair. “No, but I guess we need to.”

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