Page 43 of Totally Opposed

HARRISON: Sorry. I mean, I can’t wait for myboyfriendto visit so I can fuck his brains out in my hotel room.

GORDON: *** Middle finger emoji***

ALAN: I have no idea what Benny is talking about. I’ve been in my room all night.

Phillip rolls over in the bed on the other side of our hotel room, his phone in his hands and the screen illuminating his cheeky grin.

“Come on, back me up, please?” I beg.

“You literally just walked in.”

“They don’t have to know that.”

“Why do you care?”

“I don’t. I just… I don’t know.”

He frowns and then starts tapping on his phone. I don’t know why I care. They know we are together. So it stands to reason we’d be wanting some alone time. Why is it a big deal?

PHILLIP: The dude has been in the room all night. No idea what Benny was seeing, but it wasn’t Alan.

“Thank you.”

“No problem, but when I need an alibi, I expect your support, no questions.”

“You got it.”

BENNY: I didn’t say I saw him. My room is next to Ryan’s. Let’s just say that the walls in this place are not exactly super thick.

Phillip laughs, and I throw one of my pillows at his head.

“Shut up.”

He tosses it back, still laughing.

HARRISON: Maybe he was watching porn, hotels have decent porn, I mean you have to pay for it, but it’s not bad.

GORDON: Please tell me you didn’t order porn to our room.

STEVIE: Are you two texting each other while in the same room?

HARRISON: No, Gordon went for a walk because he couldn’t stand listening to me and Arlo on video chat.

GORDON: Excuse me if I don’t want to hear you make kissy noises at the screen to my little brother. It’s weird.

HARRISON: No weirder than you acting like a teenager and playing the “no, you hang up first” game with Niki every fucking night.

ALAN: I think that’s our cue to go to bed. So to recap. All you dickheads will keep this to yourselves, and if anyone even hints at knowing, I hope you will help squash any rumors. At least until the tour is over.

HARRISON: We got you. If anyone says boo, we’ll just say it’s all part of Dennis’s master plan.

GORDON: Yep, totally got your back, man.

STEVIE: After what the little monkey did for me and Bella, I owe you two. You got it. Whatever you need.

BENNY: No problem. But if I get a room next to either of you next time, you are buying me earplugs.

ALAN: Thanks, guys.

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