“I’m starting to see that, yeah,” I reply, and he hands me a covered plate with more of the shepherd’s pie on it.
“Thanks again for dinner. I’ll see you at the gym in the morning, yeah?”
“Actually, I’m back to my regular fitness routine now, cleared by Kyle and all.”
I knew the early visits to the gym were only temporary, but I guess I figured I had more time to… I don’t know. Get to know him. Away from the others.
“Oh, okay.”
“You could come to the pool. It’s one up the street. I have an all-hours pass, so I usually get there at five. There is almost never anyone else there at that time. Sometimes on Tuesdays, the old ladies from the home up the street get in about half past to start their aerobics class, but the rest of the week it’s usually just me. I could let you in and we could swim a few laps?”
“Oh, umm, I don’t really…swim.”
“What do you mean?”
“I never really learned to. I mean, I’m sure I can save myself if I fall in, like I can do the basic stroke or whatever you call it butlaps, yeah, I don’t think I can do that.”
“I could show you how. It’s not that hard, and swimming is really good for your stamina.” His cheeks blush that pretty pink again.
“Sure, okay.”
What the fuck? One look from him, and now I’m suddenly agreeing to meet him at the pool at five so he can teach me to swim. I hate the water. Have done since I almost drowned as a kid. Why didn’t I just tell him that? If I get there and freak out, I’m going to have to tell him, or I could just not show up. I can text him in the morning, say I’ve got a headache and can’t make it. But then I will miss out on seeing him swim laps. His toned body gliding through the water. Okay. I’ll go, and I’ll make up an excuse not to get in the water and just watch him. I can do that, right?
***
I get to the pool, and he’s already waiting by the gate with a big smile. Thankfully, the parking lot is empty, so I can only hope the inside is too, because if I am going to freak out and run away like a scared child, better to only embarrass myself in front of one person, right? Urgh, why am I doing this?
“I was worried you were going to not show,” he says when I reach him, the smile spreading across his lips, and I’m reminded by the swirl in my stomach exactly why I am here.
“I thought about it,” I reply and then follow him through the doors. The smell of chlorine fills my nose immediately and my mind is flooded with memories of the last time I was at a pool. A big one like this. I was ten, and it was someone’s birthday. I stupidly followed my older brothers up the stairs for this big slide, not thinking about what I would do at the bottom when plunged into the cold water at super speed. Nial pulled me out of the water that day, and a lifeguard did the rest, and I never wanted to get back in again.
“Umm, I don’t think this is a good idea after all,” I say as he strips off his sweats and shirt by the edge of the large lap pool. He’s wearing swim shorts that are not that unlike his training shorts, but maybe a touch tighter, and all I can imagine now is what they’ll look like wet and clinging to the shape of him.
“You can touch the bottom at this end. How about we just get in and see how you go?”
My hands are shaking, and my eyes don’t want to shift from the rippling surface of the water.
“I… You must think I’m being stupid.”
He closes the distance between us and takes my hand in his.
“I think something is keeping you out of the water, and that is not stupid. You don’t have to get in if you don’t want to, but you made it here, so maybe deep down you want to try?”
He’s right. I’ve been invited to swim loads of times, always declining the invite, and I avoid Gordon’s pool like the plague, but I showed up here, wearing swim shorts and a towel, fully intending to get in the water with Ryan. Fuck.
“Um, maybe I’ll sit on the edge and watch you for a bit, if that’s cool?”
“Totally.”
He lets go of my hand and walks to the diving blocks on the far end. I strip off my shirt and flip-flops and walk to the edge. I can see the bottom through the clear water, and the sign on the side says four feet. I’m six feet tall, so If I fall in, I can stand and my head will be out of the water, easily.Okay, come on. You can do this,I tell myself, and I slowly sit on the edge of the pool and then slip my feet into the water. It’s warmer than I expected.
“I used to be able to swim the length of this pool in one minute fifteen seconds in college,” Ryan calls as he perches on the block, hands clasping the edge by his feet, ass up in the air.
“Is that good?” I ask, and he tilts his head up to look at me.
“It was great. Now I’m slow as fuck,” he replies, lowering his head and then leaping off into the water. He glides under the surface, and my pulse quickens as the seconds tick by. Then relief washes over me when his head pops up, and he starts swimming through the water towards me. His arms are like propellers, pushing him forward as his body glides behind him. I half expect to see a lot of kicking and splashing of the water, but it looks like his legs are moving at half the speed of his arms, and as he flies past me, he reaches the end, dives forward, and flips under the water. He pushes off the end and starts to come back the other way. But instead of popping back up out of the water, he swims at an angle under the surface towards my feet and then comes up between them.
“That was so slow,” he says, running his hands through his sandy brown hair. Wet like this, you would think it was darker, but in the light on the baseball field, it almost looks like antique gold.