But a sliver of me looked at the towering, sporty man who I considered the closest thing I had to a best friend, and I couldn’t help myself.
“Please, please, tell me you got laid.”
I nodded. “And then some. But...” I sighed, knowing it was best just to purge it all. Get it out in the open so I could grieve the perfection ofPrince Eric.
Or however he spelled it.
“But?” Chris pressed.
“It’s not the mafia. Or a drug dealer,” I said calmly.
Chris raised an eyebrow. “Oh? Then what? Stripper?”
“Close. Only Fans. Cam Boy.”
Chris’s jaw was agape with my admission, a low whistle soon following. He didn’t miss a beat. “And you’re worried Mr. Only Fans might be bad for your reputation?”
My silence spoke volumes.
“You like this guy, don’t you?” Chris’s words were serious, all humor dissolved from his tone.
My own admission was harrowing, as I spoke it without thinking.
“I think I’m in love with him.”
Chris offered me a soft smile.
“I’m not going to tell you it’s not a dangerous game. I’m sure you already know that,” he said.
I sighed. “He doesn’t know I know. I found out by accident.”
“Browsing on your own?” Chris quietly asked.
“Sort of. Anonymous link in my email.”
Chris raised his eyebrows in alarm. “Your school email?” he asked.
I nodded. “I tried to look into the sender, but it was encrypted. Believe me, I tried.”
“Someone must’ve seen you two together,” Chris said, stroking his chin.
I let out a deep sigh as reality hit me.
Of course, why didn’t I think of that.
It could have been a colleague, while we were out partying, but I had a feeling it wasn’t. I had a feeling, as I looked at the seat where Trevor Kleypas sat, exactly who’d dropped the bombshell.
He recognized Eric.
And was worried I was making a mistake.
I wasn’t sure whether to be disgusted that he recognized Eric—because I knew what that meant, despite the fact Trevor was one of the early eighteen year old students, so he was technically of legal age to view such content—or to feel a sense of gratitude that he felt strongly enough to look out for me, his teacher. His quiet, shy,gayteacher who was apparently out of touch with the dating world.
And all at once, I realized that I had felt the same way. Worried, concerned, that I was perhaps making a mistake.
But as I sat there in my office, talking to Chris, remembering what my brother had said, I knew that was one of those do or die moments.
If I cut things off with Eric for good, would I regret neverenduring?