“Suit yourself.”
We smoked some more.
“Did you and Dad get that shipment sent off to Niort before you destroyed your house yesterday?”
“Yes.” I flicked my ash out of the window. Nico flicked his beyond the bonnet.
“Good. Is this to do with that man? Caspian, isn’t it?”
“Yes. Yes.”
I stayed quiet, unable to express how I was feeling. There were no words for my thoughts. Words always deserted me when I felt upset. Colette once explained my brain was like a sheet of blurry glass, the opaque type used as shower screens. When my emotional reservoir overflowed, I was trapped on the wrong side. Desperately trying to express feelings, but only able to make out a few shapes.
“Can I say something, Maxi?” Nico began. A regular opener, it signalled his launch into the wise big brother talk. If I said no, he carried on anyway, so I usually pretended not to be listening. “You hardly know this guy. He’s landed here from an entirely different walk of life. He’s not even speaking his first language, and he’ll be gone by the end of the summer. And I know you’re desperate to find someone, but this man might not be it. He might just be a rehearsal for the real thing.”
“I know that. I’m not stupid.”
“Good.” He waved his ciggie at me. “I’m not saying it’s not okay to be cross and upset. It’s fine if you don’t want to share what’s happened, and if you want to damage your house, that’s up to you, too. Just don’t do anything crazy. Talk to me or Éti first.”
Mon dieu, they all thought I was an idiot. I took a final drag then hurled the cigarette butt out of the window. Of course I wouldn’t do anything crazy. I was Max La Forge of La Forge Oyster Farms. I had self-worth. And a house, family, good teeth, and money.
Didn’t stop me wanting to continue breaking things, though. Starting with Nico if he carried on acting like he was my dad. The days he could best me in a fight were long gone.
“Leave me alone. I want to be cross by myself.”
At home, I took a hot shower, hurling my shampoo and Colette’s fancy shower gel across the tiled floor. Then I dressed and sat on the sofa with my eyes screwed shut and petting Kaa on my lap until a knock on the door meant I had to open them again. Honestly, why couldn’t these people leave me to stew in my own angry juices?
“Let me in, Max. I’m on my own.”
Éti might be one of my favourite people, but I hadn’t finished sulking yet. “No. Go away. I’m not talking today.”
“That sounds very much like talking, my love.”
“Well, not to you.”
A rattle sounded at the door. A second later, my sister-in-law was in front of me, dangling my spare key. Noir nuzzled into her hand and thumped his tail, annoying me on several levels.
“You promised to use that key for emergencies only.”
“Thisisan emergency. Nico said you’ve been throwing things. You didn’t turn up at work. And you wouldn’t tell him what was wrong.”
“I’m fine. See? You can go now.”
I clamped my lips shut so nothing else came out. I was not fine. I was far from fine. But it was a short word, and I wasn’t ready to have Éti or anyone else in my house. I made that as obvious as I could by not looking at her. Instead, I ran the backs of my fingers across Kaa’s dry scales as she slumbered in her shoe box and recited my three favourite types of fish under my breath, over and over until the urge to throw something passed.
Unlike Caspian, Éti was not scared of snakes.
“Just talk to me, Max. Tell me what’s happened.”
“Don’t want to.”
As if Éti would give up that easily. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched her scan the room, her quick gaze landing on the mess I’d created. And then back at me before returning to the mess. Like her clever mind was calculating.
“Okay. Well, if you’re just going to sit there in silence, I might as well make myself useful.”
The first thing she picked up was a wooden spoon I’d launched at the fridge. Wooden spoons lived in the second drawer down. I thought she knew that. She’d used them enough times when we cooked together. But it seemed she’d forgotten, because she reached up and placed it with the metal ones in a jug on the shelf above the sink instead.
My fingers went into overdrive, counting themselves up against my thumbs like they were racing to be the first. “It doesn’t go there!”