Page 90 of Secret Love

When I walk into the room, the guys are laughing their asses off. Rhodes is holding The Single Dad Playbook and wiping his eyes.

“What did I miss?”

Bowie waves me over and Rhodes hands me the book.

“Read it,” he says.

“I guess I’ve gotta stop singing Cardi B around the house because Caleb’s singing it now?” I read Weston’s entry out loud, laughing.

“No, the one underneath,” Penn says, cracking up.

“I almost didn’t put it in there, but I needed to vent,” Rhodes says.

It’s longer, so I read it to myself and am laughing before I get very far.

Recently, I made the mistake of taking a wee in our yard when Levi and I were out all day and not close to the house. I didn’t feel like hauling him inside in a hurry when I had to go that bad, so I chose a tree and went.

Big mistake.

Now, he wants to go every time we’re outside…and not just at home.

So far, he’s been in the parking lot of Elle’s dad’s church, the tree at the library, and the park. This morning, we took a walk around the block and before I could stop him, he ran over to Mrs. Hammond’s yard and answered nature’s call all over her rose bushes. She ran out and shooed us off with her newspaper.

I apologized profusely, but I don’t think she will forgive us any time soon.

Moral of the story: Don’t let your son see you take a leak outside until they’re old enough to know it’s a once-in-a-while thing used only in emergencies and never, ever in Mrs. Hammond’s roses.

~Rhodes

I’m laughing as hard as they are by the time I’m done.

“Why didn’t you tell us about this?” I finally ask. “This is too good.”

“Because of the shame,” Rhodes says. “I’m trying to raise a dignified little boy here.”

That just makes us laugh harder.

“He’ll grow out of it. My brother and I did,” I tell him. “Well, that was mostly because my mom was like Mrs. Hammond. Watering the yard was a no-go for her too.” I laugh again and then shrug. “This is the plus of having three daughters, I guess.”

“Levi is a dignified little boy,” Weston says. “He’s a little gentleman.”

“Becca loves how he tries to open the doors for her. I don’t know another three-year-old like that,” Bowie says.

“If anyone is messing up, it’s me. It’s not just Cardi B. Caleb heard me singing “Nasty” by Tinashe to Sadie and he’s been going around singing, “I’ve been a nasty girl…”

We lose it at that.

Weston clears his throat and then adds under his breath, “He’s also heard “Lunch” by Billie Eilish, so yeah, I am not winning any awards in the dad department.”

“We need to work on your music selection,” Bowie says, wheezing.

“I love those artists too, man,” Rhodes says. “He’ll be well-rounded.”

We all laugh again.

I sit down and Clara sticks her head in the door, holding my Solar Latte.

“Sounds like too much fun is going on in here.” She grins before backing out again.

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