Page 87 of Secret Love

She looks down at her plate and her eyes fill with tears. “That's true. It was almost like I was just determined to make our life be what Iwantedit to be…all the while knowing it never would be. I don't know why I did that.”

“Because you loved him,” I say, softly.

“Yeah, I did. And I wasted thirty years on a man who has never really loved me back. That's a rude awakening.” She laughs and it sounds brittle and so unbearably sad.

I reach out and put my hand on her arm. “I wish more than anything that I could take away this pain…and I know it's too soon to say this, but I'm so glad you got out of there.”

I'm afraid to say too much because what if she goes back to him? But I can only hope that this has opened her eyes for good.

She talks about how it's been since they moved to Sydney. His late nights working, how abrasive and cold he's been, evenmore than usual. He's berated her over the smallest things and he’s never home.

“I’m not sure why he even wanted me to move there with him. But I'm done, Tru.” She looks me in the eyes and sets down her spoon, reaching for my hand. “I’m not going back to him. I know now that I can't live this way another second. It's killing me. I don't even recognize myself in the mirror anymore. And I don't want to be that kind of example to you…or to myself.”

“I love you, Mom.” I bite my lip as the tears start falling down my cheeks. “I love you so much and I know you can do this. You can have a life without him andthrive.”

“I don't really know what I'm going to do with myself, but I'm going to do something,” she says, trying to laugh again.

“You’ve always been brilliant. Now it’s time to think about whatyouwant.”

“I’d rather talk about you. But thanks for listening.” She leans in. “Now…tell me everything I’ve missed from living across the world from you.”

“Well, I’ve made some new friends. I told you about going to Sadie and Weston’s and then out with Sadie and her soon-to-be sister-in-law. Did I tell you about Elle and Calista yet?”

“No, you haven’t mentioned them.”

“Remember that cute bookstore we went in when we drove through here? Twinkle Tales? Calista works there. It was her aunt’s shop and now she’s running it. And Elle is her best friend…who’s also best friends with one of Henley’s best friends.” We both laugh at the way my hand is jumping with the imaginary arrows. “And I can’t wait for you to meet Clara from Luminary Coffeehouse. I think the two of you will hit it off. And Weston’s mom, Lane. She’s great too.”

“And then there’s Henley…” She lifts her eyebrows and grins.

I lean back in my chair and smile back at her.

“Yeah, Henley. He is…” I let out a loud sigh and we both laugh.

“When do I get to meet him?”

“He would’ve been here today to meet you if I hadn’t said let’s wait. I wanted you to get settled in and all that. And…we’re still going to keep things under wraps a while longer. Hopefully his daughters will have a chance to warm up to the idea.”

Images of the way he looked above me, his muscles straining, his hair over his forehead, the intensity in his eyes when he touched me…and then the conversations we’ve had on the phone and texting, in person too…where we’ve covered a lot of ground. It feels like we’ve gotten to know each other pretty well in a short amount of time.

“I can’t wait to meet him. I’ve never seen you light up about a guy before, but you do about him.” She pats my hand and I squeeze hers back.

That night after my mom has gone to bed and I’m getting in mine, my phone buzzes.

Henley

How’s it going over there?

She’s sad, but I think she’s going to be okay. She’s actually doing better than I expected her to be. A lot has been going on in Sydney between them and she says she’s done. She’s never said anything close to that about my dad before, but I believe she means it.

Henley

It sounds like a great first step. I’m glad, but I’m still sorry. Going through a divorce is never easy.

I can only imagine. I’m sorry you’ve dealt with that.

Henley

I’m all good. It was hard, but I feel very lucky that Bree and I remained friends throughout the process. And I feel even luckier about the night I had last night…with you…in case there was any doubt.

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