Page 67 of Secret Love

I exhale, my shoulders sagging in relief. “Good.”

“But it’s probably best that we don’t see each other until the summer…if then. We can see how the girls feel about things then.”

“That’s a couple of months away.” After the elation of last night and how right everything felt, I don’t want to be away from her for a day, much lessmonths.

She nods, swallowing hard. “I’m glad we had last night.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

ALREADY LOST

TRU

I’ve never had a night like the one I just had.

It was pure magic. I felt like I was living in a dream, floating on air…and like I would never come back to Earth.

The connection Henley and I share.

The intimacy that’s so easy and comfortable, while also being electrifying and mind-blowing…I didn’t even know that was a possibility, to have it all.

We stayed up all night, learning each other’s bodies, and he made me feel things I’ve never felt. He handled me like I weighed nothing, moving me into various positions and angles, doing most of the work, while I turned into a pleasure-filled puddle.

I still hear the way his voice rasped when he said, “Wait, don’t come yet.”

It was the time early this morning before we fell asleep. I thought for sure I was so wrung out with pleasure, I wouldn’t be able to orgasm even one more time, but I held on and he made it so good. It was wild and frantic and perfect, and I came twice. And again, later in the shower.

But wow, did we come crashing down.

Talk about a severe reality check.

The look on Cassidy’s face when she saw me in her dad’s shirt, cuddled up to him…I think it will haunt me forever. She looked devastated and shocked and so hurt.

I’m talking to Jacklyn and a few of the girls when Henley walks into the studio with Audrey.

No Cassidy.

Our eyes meet...I can't look at him without thinking of all the things he did to me last night. All the things we did. My cheeks heat. He smiles like maybe he's thinking about the same things. My smile drops quickly and I try to focus on what’s being said around me.

I want to rush over there and ask him about Cassidy, but if I talk to him, it feels like everyone will know what we did. I can’t even look at him without flushing right now, and all the mothers already watch him like a hawk as it is.

I want him to hug me and tell me everything's going to be okay. I want to take back the things I said about putting everything on hold, taking a break. I hated the wholeFriendsplot where Ross and Rachel were taking a break. It made menever like Ross again. And what I'm doing feels even more risky because we don't have years of friendship behind us like Ross and Rachel.

And why in the world am I comparing us to a 90s sitcom?

Henley and I are on shaky legs at best. What we shared last night was life-changing for me, but maybe he has nights like that with random strangers or maybe it used to be an everyday occurrence with his ex-wife for all I know. What felt special to me might not be as special to him and we could have risked his relationship with his daughters over something that was meant to be nothing more than a fun night together.

What if Bree is upset that he’s sleeping with her daughter’s teacher and goes to the school? I could lose my job…

I feel sick.

I watch as he lingers, looking like he wants to speak with me, but it's time for class to start. I move to the front of the class and watch as Audrey lines up with the rest of the girls. She waves at her dad and he lingers a few minutes more before ducking out of the studio.

I don't watch him walk away even though I want to more than anything.

This already hurts and we barely even got started.

After class, I hurry to the office, hoping to avoid seeing him again. I'm surprised he wasn't here waiting at the end of class, like he usually is, but maybe he wants to avoid seeing me too. I get through the rest of the classes in a blur.

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