Page 51 of Secret Love

“That's so sad,” Cassidy said, her eyes filling with tears. “How can you be such good friends and not be a good couple too?”

“I wish I could explain it, but it's something that I don't understand myself. We made each other unhappy when we were together, even though we loved each other. One day hopefully you'll know what I mean when you find someone you're meant to be with…the right person. Hopefully you'll know what’s right for you better than we did.”

When I walk into the gym, the guys can tell right away that something's wrong.

“You haven't been answering our texts. What's going on? You leave us hanging about the kiss. And now you walk in here looking like your dog has died,” Rhodes says.

“I don't have a dog,” I grumble.

“Exactly, so what's up?” he says.

“I’m troubled about a conversation I had with the girls last night. Can't get it off my mind. Tru was at the house yesterday to work with Cassidy. She stayed and had dinner with us. It was such a fun night. Everything seemed to be going great. And then Gracie asks if Bree and I will ever get back together…”

“Shit,” Bowie says.

“Where did that come from?” Weston asks. “I never knew they were thinking that way.”

“Me either, they’ve seemed great with our arrangement. Well-adjusted. At least, I thought they were. I told them clearly that it's not happening. And they don't understand why. It's hard to explain...feelings. I never want to put Bree in a bad light and I don't feel negatively about her. But I don't love her like that and she doesn't love me like that. How do you say that and still let your kids know that you love their mother?”

“Shit, if you're fucked, we're all fucked because I’ve never seen two parents co-parent any better than you guys do,” Rhodes says. “It's going to be hard for me to talk positively about Carrie to Levi, but I'm going to do my best when he's old enough. But wedon'tget along. He's going to be happy we'renottogether. I guess that's always the risk with getting along well with your ex—it could give the kids hope.”

“Yeah, I thought the whole ‘we're just friends’ thing would be enough, but I don't think so.”

“Well, maybe Bree will reiterate that with them,” Bowie says. “She's doing good with Alex, right?”

“It seems like it. I think she's into him.” I nod.

“Well, maybe the happier they see her with someone else…and eventuallyyouwith someone else,” Bowie grins, “maybe it'll be clear. They'll see that you're different with Tru, for example, than their mom.”

“I think the whole thing is scaring Tru off. And I wouldn't blame her. She's already worried about dating me with Cassidy being her student. And hearing that whole conversation did not help my cause in any way. I’m worried about it too, but I…like her.”

They all pause what they’re doing and look at me in shock before breaking out in grins and whoops.

“Shut up,” I grumble. “I don’t know that I can do much about it. I just want to get to know her, but it’s important that the girls are okay.”

“Fuck,” Penn says. “Why are kids so complicated? Sam said something last night about his parents never getting along…and that he hopes he never has to be in the same house with them ever again. So it's definitely preferable that they want you together than that scenario.”

“Damn straight,” I say. “How's he doing these days?”

“He's doing good. He’s crushing on a girl named Charlotte. It’s pretty fucking cute. I’m trying to convince him to talk to her. He says he gets tongue-tied whenever he tries.”

We all laugh.

“Hey, it’s been a while since we’ve updated this.” Weston pulls The Single Dad Playbook out of his bag and lays it on the counter near the weight machines.

Rhodes picks it up and writes in it before he starts working out. Bowie takes it next. I’m already lifting, so I’ll have to get to it afterward.

When I pick it up after my shower, I write:

It can be so hard to know if you’re getting through to your kids.

They can seem like they’re on the same page, but then the truth comes out later and you realize you hadn’t communicated enough after all.

I don’t know the secret or the answer to this. I’m still trying to figure it out, and it may always be a mystery.

All I know is it’s important to keep trying.

Keep the lines of communication open.

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