Page 23 of Secret Love

The Earls of the world would be so offended by this conversation.

Mom

Well, they can hardly be offended if you’re bequeathing such a cutie with that name. What other news besides a kitten? That’s a big deal. You’ve never owned a pet…well, except for that mouse you tried to bring into the house when we lived in Minnesota.

It was cold. But yes, you’re right. It’s a big deal. He showed up at my house and it felt like a sign that I’m in the right place. And then, even better…I got a full-time job at Silver Hills Middle School as an eighth-grade teacher.

Mom

Trudi Eloise Seymour! I knew you’d get a job there! This is so exciting! I’d call you right now, but Dad has the morning off and is still asleep, but I AM ELATED!

I can tell by all those exclamation points.

I set my phone down, sadness creeping in through my excitement because my mom is on the other side of the world, tiptoeing around her life. And I’m here, attempting to create a new one.

I look down at Earl and pet his soft head. “I need more friends. Not that you don’t count. You will be the best friend I’ve ever had, I can already tell. But I need some human ones too.”

Moving a lot has taught me to make friends quickly, but I haven’t learned to hold on to many. I have a couple of friends that I keep in touch with occasionally. It just sucks that we all live far apart. I met Maria in Guatemala. She’s three years older than me and took me under her wing when I lived there. We started out writing letters when I moved and then switched to email, and we’ve kept that up. And Krystal, my roommate during freshmen year, is in New York, so we’ve seen each other a couple of times since then, but not much.

Even in college, I changed schools several times, moving when my parents did. I didn’t want my mom to be stuck with mydad and still held onto the hope that she’d realize she was worth more than the way he treated her, the way he treated us.

My dad never lifted his hand to hurt me. That would have taken too much effort. Instead, he pretended I didn’t exist…until some invisible switch would go off, one I invariably wouldn’t see coming, and then he flung his words, lazily slinging them like darts to see what would sting the worst.

You look like a cow in that dress.

You’ll never get a boyfriend with that face.

Why are you so stupid?

And the list goes on and on.

For years, I tiptoed around him like Mom did, but when I got my driver’s license at sixteen and had a taste of freedom, I got louder. I defended Mom when he berated her. I rolled my eyes when he insulted me. Once, I laughed when he said no man would ever want me.

“Fine by me,” I said.

It shocked him so much, he was stunned silent.

He didn’t mean the things he saidwas my mom’s argument…and it still is. At this point, I don’t really care if he means the things he says or not. I had to get away from him before I started believing it.

“Ugh,” I tell Earl. “I don’t want to go down this dark spiral. How about we go for a little walk? It feels like spring out there. You can ride in my sweatshirt.”

Earl blinks up at me and I decide that’s answer enough. I grab my zip-up hoodie draped over the chair and put it on. My tennies are by the door and I tuck Earl in my hoodie where he can still see out if he wants.

I end up walking longer than I expected to and end up at Luminary Coffeehouse. Peeking in the window, I see a neon sign that says The Celestial Donut hanging behind the counter andthat convinces me to go inside. I love a good cinnamon rollanda good donut.

I walk inside, already loving the vibe. I look down to make sure Earl is hidden, and he is. The ceiling is detailed wood painted in black and the walls are white with sunny-yellow touches that cheer everything up. Local artwork is displayed on the walls and it ranges from wildlife and fairies coming out of the forest to monsters that look friendly enough to sit down next to. I love the place already.

A cute older lady is behind the counter—Clara, her name tag says—and she grins when she sees me.

“Welcome to Luminary. What can I get for you?” She makes me feel at ease instantly.

“Well, The Celestial Donut sign caught my eye from the window. I had to find out what that's about. What else is here?”

“Oh, we just added The Celestial Donut to our menu. It’s a passion of mine…beyond coffee, which is another great love of my life.” She laughs. “There’s any kind of coffee imaginable, and if it’s not on there, tell me what you want and I’ll try to make it.” She points to the chalkboard where the drinks are displayed in flourished handwriting and the names are fun with whimsical names that fit the place.

“I’m enchanted,” I tell her.

She beams. “Take your time if you need to think about it, but I'm here if you need me. It's slow this evening.”

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