Page 108 of Secret Love

“You gave us quite a scare,” Bowie says.

“Yeah, don’t ever do that again,” Rhodes adds, putting his hand on Henley’s shoulder.

“Name it, whatever you need, and we’ll do it, Hen. Just say the word. Or have Tru tell us,” Weston says.

“You won that game for us like the motherfucking star you are,” Penn says.

They all get emotional then, these big, muscled football players pure mush, and I’m sniffling along with the rest of them.

They say their goodbyes, hugging me after they hug Henley, and within an hour or so, Henley gets to go home too. I don’t even consider staying at my house tonight. I think I need to sleep by his side even more than he needs me to.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

SHADOWS GATHERING

HENLEY

“Are you not hungry?” Tru asks, eyeing the massive Reuben sandwich I’ve hardly touched.

“It’s delicious, but yeah, can’t seem to eat much,” I say apologetically.

It’s a Sunday afternoon and Tru and I are watching the game from home. It’s a rare moment lately for us to have the house to ourselves. My parents and brother were here for a couple ofweeks to help me with things, and my mom will be returning later this week. The girls left a little while ago for dress fittings. Bree’s wedding is in early December, and it will be here before we know it. Stephanie’s here a lot too, and I really love that woman.

When Tru’s not at work, she and Earl have been here with me, and it’s the only positive thing that’s happened over the past few weeks. I’m still treating it as something temporary though. Because as much as I want her to move in with me, I don’t want her to decide to do it just because I’m going through a hard time. But I love waking up with her by my side and going to sleep with her face being the last one I see.

It’s been three weeks since my accident and it’s been fucking hell. My knee hasn’t improved the way it needs to and I’ll be having surgery in a few days. The pain is rough but tolerable. I’m used to pain, but what I’m having the most trouble with are all the unknowns.

I didn’t want to go out this way.

That’s the thought that stays on a loop in my mind now. When I’m working with my physical therapist, when I’m unable to sleep in the middle of the night, when I watch my team on their way to losing their second game in a row…I want to know if I’ll be given another chance to get out there and play again.

I wanted to go out on top. End this phenomenal career I’ve had on my own terms.

“Fuck!” I yell at the screen when Penn fumbles the ball.

Tru jumps next to me, and I put my arm around her, tugging her closer.

They call a time-out and I give up trying to make out what they’re saying.

“I’m sorry,” I say softly in her ear. “I need to chill the fuck out. It’s harder than I thought to be on this side of things.” I kiss her hair and she softens in my arms. “Mmm, you feel good, tinydancer.” I cup her breast and my dick stands to attention when her nipple pebbles. “I don’t know how you’ve put up with me the past three weeks. I’ve been a bear.”

She turns to face me and puts her hand on my cheek. “Your version of being a bear is so tame, Henley Ward,” she says. “You haven’t yelled at anything but the TV screen, you haven’t thrown anything, you’ve put up with endless company and grueling appointments, all while being the sweetest man who ever lived. I don’t know how you’re not showing some meanness by now. My father would have ripped me and my mom to shreds every single day if he were going through something like this.”

From the things she’s told me about Allen, and the one-sided conversations I’ve heard her have with him on the phone since her mom left, it’s enough to make me hate the man.

“I hope I never remind you of your father.”

“There’s no possible way you ever could.”

I lean in and kiss her, groaning when she pulls away too soon.

“Don’t you want to watch the game?” she asks, laughing.

“No,” I mumble. “Yes.No.” I lean in for another kiss. “Okay, I guess I do. But I miss you,” I say against her mouth. “I don’t want you to keep holding back from me.”

We’ve messed around here and there, but we haven’t had sex since I hurt my knee. Her refusal to hurt me is sweet but unnecessary. The need to make her feel good, to lose myself in her and not be able to the way I want, is driving me crazy.

She moves back to look in my eyes. “I’d never forgive myself if I did something to make your pain worse. Or to keep you from healing the way you need to.”

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