Page 32 of Melting the Ice

He’d mostly forced his body to cooperate by the time he opened the door, towel wrapped around his waist.

Truthfully, Brody had been half-expecting—maybe half-hoping—that when he emerged from the bathroom, Dean would be there, hovering around the doorway, and he’d say something like, “Oh yeah, let’s do it again. Right now. Naked this time.”

But the hallway was dark, and there was a tiny light underneath the closed door that led to Dean’s room, but otherwise . . .there was no Dean, apologizing or propositioning him or anything else.

Brody told himself he wasn’t disappointed, but as he shut his own door and he collapsed onto the bed,alone, he kinda thought he might be.

Chapter Five

“What the hell, Faulkner?”Ramsey called out from behind Brody’s right shoulder. “You totally just fucking missed the puck.”

Sure enough, there it went sliding by, right across center ice, because Brody hadn’t caught it on his stick, and shot it over to Finn.

That was a rookie mistake. An issue he and Ramsey hadn’t had since they first started playing together. It would’ve been bad in a game, but this was just practice.

Of course, with Coach B in charge, practice was no longerjustpractice.

“You distracted?” Zach skated over, concern etched across his features. “That’s the second puck you’ve missed today. Is it your knee?”

“No, I’m fine,” Brody said, waving away his worries. “Knee’s fine.”

He didn’t want to talk about why he was distracted.

It wasn’t just adjusting to this new reality where he was undeniably into guys—intoDean—but also the new reality where he saw his roommate even less than he had before.

As he’d lain in bed two nights ago, he’d finally heard the shower flip on and then five minutes later, shut off. Dean’s door shut behind him.

The next day when Brody had stumbled out of bed, Dean had already gone. At least he’d thought he was. His bedroom door had stayed shut, but there’d been evidence that he’d been up early and left already, dishes rinsed and stacked in the sink.

They hadn’t even seen each other since it had happened, and Brody kept trying to pretend he wasn’t going out of his mind with the fact Dean was clearly avoiding him now, but hewas. There was no denying it, considering that it was now Monday afternoon and he hadn’t seen hide nor hair of Dean since Friday night.

Not only had his absence been even more glaring than before, Brody had an uncomfortable inkling that part of the fault lay with his freakout.

“Alright,” Zach said, nodding. “Let’s try this again.”

They ran through the power play kill play Zach had outlined, and this time Brody forced his attention onto the ice—away from all the shit that was bothering him.

“Better,” Zach called out from his spot near center ice. He was standing with Coach B, whose expression was opaque and unreadable. He didn’t offer much in terms of feedback—he seemed to rely on Zach for that, instead—and Brody thought maybe that was what made the team feel different this year.

Coach’s stoic blankness.

Sometimes Brody felt like he was the same, a mirror that everything just reflected off, and nobody saw what was roiling away underneath.

“Again,” Coach said with a sharp clap. And then, after they’d run through it, Brody’s legs and lungs burning with exertion, he said, “Again.”

Nothing else.

It didn’t seem to bother anyone else, this difference. Just him.

The Evergreens were still good; theyhadto be with the stacked roster they carried. They’d still won all but one game, but itfeltdifferent.

Maybe it wasn’t the team; maybe it washim.

Brody pushed the thoughts away, because this wasn’t the time or the place for them, but just because he didn’t think about it didn’t mean that those thoughts didn’t still exist, lurking around his brain, and the moment he came off the ice, pushing his sweaty hair back from his face, they came rushing back.

Hewasn’thaving the same kind of time he used to have on the ice. That much was obvious to him.

It had used to be his sanctuary, and now he couldn’t stop himself from agonizing over all the uncertainties, even when he skated.

---