Page 74 of Melting the Ice

There’d been more than once their sly, fast forward had slipped right past him, making a break for it, and he’d had to push hard, skating as fast and as nimbly as he was able to catch up with him. Ramsey had shot him a look or two, and Zach had leaned down, during one of his breaks, and asked him if he was alright.

He was—and he wasn’t.

What he was, was fucking hanging in there, by his fingernails. Trying to get used to living under this cloud of uncertainty.

Ramsey shot him a look. Not dissimilar to the looks Brody had gotten during the game. “If only it was always that easy with you,” he said.

After the conversation with Coach B, Brody had finally understood that nothing was going to go back to normal. This was the new normal, and the only way to deal with it was to go right through it.

’Course that didn’t mean it was particularly enjoyable.

Brody sure as hell wasn’t having a good time.

Ironically, the only thing about his life that felt free and easy and relatively straightforward was Dean.

“I’m not some kind of dramatic, complicated guy,” Brody argued, but these days, he kinda was, wasn’t he? He felt like a garbage fire, in human form.

“So you say,” Ramsey said. He finished with the tape and began to shuck his equipment next.

Brody had already dumped his into the big bin for the equipment manager to clean and repair and get set for the next game.

He turned to head to the showers, but Ramsey’s hand on his arm stopped him.

“What I want to know,” Ramsey said, still casual, the opposite of his grip on Brody’s arm, “is what’s going on between you two.”

“Me and Dean?” Brody knew his voice went high and squeaky, like it always did when he was lying.

“You and Dean,” Ramsey repeated steadily.

“I . . .I told you, we’re friends,” Brody stuttered.

“Such good friends, all of a sudden, that you’re gonna go to a party just because he asks you.You, who’s being even cagier than usual?”

“I’m not being—”

“Yeah,” Ramsey cut off. “That’s bullshit. Don’t blow me off with bullshit. I let you get away with not talking about it before, but it’s gone further than that.Obviously.”

Brody took a deep breath. Ramsey was one of his best friends. “I like him. We’re . . .uh . . .hooking up.”

Ramsey raised an eyebrow. “You’re welcome,” he said.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Brody had imagined Ramsey reacting a bunch of different ways when he finally came out. Incredulity. Shock. He’d been sure that one of Ramsey’s immediate responses would’ve been something like,if you were gonna experiment with a guy, why not do it with me?

But none of those turned out to be right.

Instead, of course, Ramsey was going to take credit for the whole fucking thing.

“I mean,you’re welcomefor calling him up and suggesting he move in with you.”

Brody rolled his eyes. He grabbed his bag, slid his feet into his slides, and headed towards the showers. “You’re ridiculous.”

“And you’re the one hooking up with him.” Ramsey paused. “Is that all it is? A hookup?”

“Yeah of course. What else is it gonna be?” Brody challenged.

Ramsey shrugged. “You’re the one who isn’t sure he wants to play hockey anymore.”

“How do you know that?”Nobodyknew that. Just Coach B, Zach, and Dean. And Brody never would’ve thoughtanyof those guys would’ve blabbed about it.