Page 4 of Ready Or Not

I ruined this whole thing.

Ruined.

Ben backs out of the house, stepping onto my front porch. “Fucking cunt! Crazy ass bi–”

I slam the door, locking it. I drop my head against the cool door, sucking in deep breaths.

I was stupid to even try.

I should have killed him. Fuck, I should have killed him!

I grip the knife tighter. What the hell kind of thought was that? I don’t want to go to prison. I wouldn’t last a week.

I tried and got nothing. No answers. I thought I’d at least get something. A hint, a clue,something.

I stand there. My face feels hot. My whole body feels hot. I can feel the heat along every inch, up and down my neck, and in my hair.

I’m alone. A mixture of comfort and vast emptiness rushes through me. I’m always alone. I kicked my ex out years ago when he started having the kid talk, and since then, I’ve kinda been a loner. Until I met Cali. And now she’s gone, too.

I still feel Ben’s hands all over my breasts. Breaking for the bathroom, I throw on the water and splash it on my face. It’s not enough. I need more.

I turn on the shower and get in, clothes and shoes still on. I realize my phone is recording in my pocket, and I turn it off and throw it across the bathroom. I stand there, soaking in the cold water.

I can still hearhisvoice.

More.

I throw on the bath. Before it’s even full, I drop down into it, letting the water lap around me and wrap my feet and legs in a warm hug. It touches me all over with a consistent pressure, soothing away my irritation. I rip my clothes off, and as the water rises, my tension eases.

I drop my head on my knees.

I feel a blemish on my forehead and touch it with my fingers. Fuck, did I get a pimple, too?

I glance around, wishing I hadn’t thrown my phone so I could use the camera to look at it. Still, I pick at it. I pick and pick and pick, locked in a cycle until I get it out of me.

Cali was the one person who understood me, and now she’s gone. She’s gone, and I just ruined the one way to get her back.

Maybe. Unless she’s dead.

I close my eyes. I don’t have anyone left who understands.

And that is the loneliest thought I’ve ever had.

2

Somebody’s Watching Me - Rockwell

The hot, dry wind whips around me as I bounce on my toes, waiting in line for the haunted corn maze. Brown leaves rustle around my feet, catching on me for a second, then blowing away.

For two weeks after my failure, I did nothing but go to work, eat (sometimes), and sleep. I could barely work, but I needed the money and the routine. It kept me from picking all the skin around my fingers completely off. Coincidentally, I also had the worst customers call in, yell at me, and complain to the shop because I didn’t cut their hair just right, even though they were happy with it when they left the store.

As Halloween approaches, I get more antsy. Cali made me promise I’d go to the corn maze with her since we both loved them, and I couldn’t get that promise out of my head as much as I tried. What was the point? She’s not here anyway.

But I made a promise. It got to the point where it was either taking a bubble bath with the toaster or going to the corn maze.

Unfortunately, here I am.

A scream comes from the maze, and the girls ahead of me titter and laugh. As they chatter, one backs up and bumps into me.

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