Page 26 of Better Hide

It’s my birthday.

I still try to get Mom’s attention.

Mom doesn’t react. Desperation fills the room, and I splash her.

Mom gasps, instantly snapping at me, “Jesus, Mary. Don’t get my fucking phone wet.”

I know the answer before I even ask. “Play with me?”

Mom gives dream me a pitying look, and it shoots ice into my gut, but not like I know her next words will. “No.” Mom stands. “I hate you, Mary Jo. I wish I never had you.”

My world implodes in on me, and suddenly, I’m drowning again. I can’t breathe. I can’t fucking breathe.

I jerk awake, gasping. Something is squeezing my neck.

“Can’t breathe.” I claw at my throat.

“Hey,” a low male voice says.

I snap my gaze over. Cole is driving, and he reaches his hand and puts it on my thigh. I try to ground myself. I’m in the front seat, not in my nightmare.

“You’re okay. It’s okay, just focus on me.” Cole squeezes once, twice, and looks over at me again.

My gaze darts around the car. “Where are we?”

“You passed out again.” Cole looks back at the road, his thumb rubbing circles on my leg. “Somewhere in Oklahoma.”

I sit stiffly back against the seat, still feeling like I’m in that hotel pool. The drowning was new for that dream, but everything else was the same. It felt so real.

I check the back seat. Jayden lays stretched out as much as he can, his eyes closed.

More swirling on my thigh. I shove Cole’s hand off me. “Don’t touch me.”

Suddenly, Cole’s hand snaps back to my leg, squeezing harder. “Don’t tell me what to do, little one.”

Rage burns through me. Does he think he can just pretend that nothing happened? Like everything is fine?

I whirl on him. “I’m not your little one; I’m your prisoner. Stop trying to make it seem different.”

For a second, Cole doesn’t react. Then his gaze slowly turns toward me, and he squeezes hard enough to make my leg hurt. “Is that right?” Anger flashes in his eyes.

“Yes.” I grip his hand with both mine and yank. It does nothing except send a bolt of pain through me.

“You’re hurting me,” I hiss.

Cole immediately loosens his grip. His jaw clenches, and then he slowly lets me go and flexes his hand.

I shove away from him. My dream is fresh in my mind, and everything feels so real and overwhelming. My mom’s dismissal of me, their dismissal of me, it all feels like one giant wave that’s going to crash over me and drown me in its emotions.

Cole’s jaw clenches again.

I want the emotions to stop. I turn to the window. “Why don’t you just fucking kill me? Just kill me like you did Sage, and don’t drag it out.”

“Jo…”

“No,” I bite back. Cole’s voice is so calm, and that just pisses me off more. How dare he try to be soft after that.How dare he?

My eyes burn, and I watch the landscape go by. Giant wind turbines dot the landscape, turning lazily in the bright sun. Why can’t they be a little soft? I like their violence, but fuck. Do I?

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