Page 3 of Made Over by Meredith

But Meredith only smiled at me, her glossy pink lips spreading wide. “Yeah? I have a kid who obsessed with Rubik’s Cubes, but he can never get them.”

“Aaron Sarna?” Claire guessed, and when Meredith nodded, my sister pressed her hands to her heart. “He’s the sweetest.”

“So sweet,” Meredith agreed. “Can’t stand his parents, though. Mom’s a real bitch, and Dad won’t stop staring at my tits during IEP meetings.”

That was the thing about Meredith; she looked like Barbie but had the mouth of a sailor.

“Some of these fucking parents…” She shook her head. “Like, your kid’s got a stutter, so what? Doesn’t change the fact that he’s smart and funny and caring, but you’ll always be a crusty-ass bitch with a husband who can’t keep his dick in his pants.”

Jimmy raised his glass to her in salute while Claire snickered into her drink. I stared at Meredith. Like the eighth wonder of the world.

“Anyway,” she went on, flapping her hand at me. “What’s up with the friend-zone thing?”

I shrugged.

“What do you mean…?” She imitated me with a big shrug of her own. “Why are they friend-zoning you?”

“If I knew, I’d stop doing it.”

“What you need is a relationship coach,” Jimmy said, and when I raised my brow at him, he held his hands up. “Not me. I’m out of the dating game. I have no idea what women want.”

“Out of the game?” Claire huffed. “Have you got amnesia for all the girls you were with before me?”

“Yes.” He ducked his head, reaching across the table to tug on a few strands of her red hair. “I’ve forgotten all of them.”

Meredith gagged. “I’m so happy for you two. Now let me go find some cement shoes and a river.”

While the two lovebirds were busy lovebirding, I frowned at her. “I don’t get it.”

She drummed her nails on the table. “Meaning they’re so cute I’m going to kill myself.”

“Depression and suicide are no joke.”

Her arched eyebrows lifted infinitesimally like she wasn’t used to somebody pointing out that her usual shtick wasn’t always cute. Then she dragged her tongue over her bottom lip and gave into a smile. “You’re right. And also a buzzkill.”

“That’s us,” Claire said, disentangling herself from Jimmy. “Two buzzkills.”

Meredith looked me up and down. Even though the table hid my lower half, it felt like she could seeeverything. “It’s your vibe,” she proclaimed after a moment of studying me, her head tilted to the side. “That’s your first problem.”

“Excuse me?”

She flicked her hand in my direction. “Exactly. You’re too nice.”

I touched the edge of my glasses. “Is that a thing?”

“Being too nice? Absolutely.” She tossed her hair over her shoulder. “There’s a difference between nice and kind. There’salso a difference betweenlet me be your shoulder to cry onandlet me rub your ankles after I’ve tied you to the bed and fucked you hoarse. You know what I’m saying?”

I practically choked on my sip of beer, and Claire patted my back while giggling.

Meredith went on, casually. “You seem like the type who’s too much of the former and not enough of the latter. You want to stop being friend-zoned? Stop being their friend.”

Jimmy pointed at her. “There’s your coach, Rube.” When I fixed him with a confused gaze, he jutted his chin in her direction. “Who better to teach you the ways of women than her?”

“My body count is pretty high,” she said without hesitation, and Claire tilted her head to the side in thought.

“Yeah, but in this instance, is that a good or bad thing? Aiden wants a girlfriend, not a one-night-stand.”

“It’s not like I’m incapable of being in a relationship.” Meredith put on a faux appearance of outrage. “I just don’t want to be in one. Besides—” she rested her chin on her fist “—a relationship is basically a one-night-stand who never leaves, right?” Then she met my gaze. “You’re doing the same things as I would to take somebody home, except you’ll actually be—” she quirked her fingers in a sarcastic air quote “—open and honest.”

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