Page 20 of Judging Duke

He turned on his heel and walked back inside, leaving us alone yet again.

“Fuck,” Duke said, rubbing his face and kicking up the gravel on the drive.

If I was a caring person, I might have told him not to worry, that everything was going to be okay, but I was no longer that man. I hated him with a passion that burnt so hard I didn’t care if he lost his job. He deserved none of the good things in life.

Was that harsh? Fucking too right it was. I’d never forgiven him and never would. I’d grown hard over the years. Gone was the joking big brother. I’d had to steel myself against the fucking awful thing that had happened to my family. I’d thrown myself into my job, fucking and being fucked, not giving a shit about anyone but Robbie.

It had almost fallen apart. Mum and Dad struggled financially. They understandably wanted the best for Robbie, and I did what I could to give them that.

“Look, I’ll stay out of your way for the rest of your stay,” he said, “as long as you stay out of mine. I am truly sorry for what happened to Robbie.” He walked towards the front door. I couldn’t help but have the last word.

“Run away, like you did before. You’re still a fucking coward. You couldn’t face up to it then, and you can’t stand up to me now.”

He paused, and I watched his shoulders flex beneath his shirt; his hands clenched and unclenched. I guessed I’d hit a nerve.

But if I wanted another argument, I was disappointed, and he ran up the steps to the front door without a backward glance.

Other than him admitting his part in Robbie’s accident, I’d learnt nothing more about him and what had happened.

Why did I care, though?

Why was I bothered about his life? I couldn’t explain it, but I’d never forgotten him, and each time Robbie had gone through another bout of painful therapy or he’d whispered his deepest thoughts to me in the middle of the night, my hatred had burnt deeper.

Robbie had never been to blame. I knew that down in my soul.

What to do now, though? The age-old question—should I stay, or should I go?

Could I honestly stay, knowing he was here? As much as I’d felt this was a place I could relax, him being here had ruined it for me.

I needed to call Dexter.

I made it back to my room with no further incident. I chucked my holdall on the bed and threw the few clothes I’d brought with me into it, not even bothering to fold them.

Fucking Duke Anders.

I had to admit he’d looked good. He’d grown into his looks, and a long-forgotten feeling resurfaced. Irefusedto be attracted to the man, as attractive as he was.

After packing, I took my phone from the safe, walked onto the balcony and called Dexter.

“Hey, I’m gonna need the car early. Can you get it here today?”

“What’s up? I thought we agreed you’d stay there for a week?”

“Something came up. I can’t stay here.” Dexter knew about my brother; he knew my reasons for what I did, but I’d never told him about the circumstances behind Robbie’s accident.

“We’ve paid for a week. Stay there. Take some time to chill and relax. What could possibly make you want to leave there?”

“Personal reasons.”

“What? You’ve fucked one of the staff already?” He laughed, and any other time, he might have been right.

“No. I might have got into a brawl with one.”

“What the fuck, Simon?”

I moved the phone away from my ear, not wanting to hear the tirade he was no doubt going on.

“Are you done?” I asked when the line went quiet.

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