A man wearing green body paint runs out of the trees and scoops one of the birds out of the air with a of bag. The rest of the black birds go quiet, hovering overhead with their red beaks and eyes still looking hella creepy.

He’s seriously good looking, with high cheekbones and a strong jaw. But what really gets me are his eyes. They’re gorgeous and a deep brown that’s warm and full of life. He’s also wearing fake vampire teeth, but kind of big and turned upside down, so they point up. His hair flows around his shoulders in a long, black wave. If that’s a wig, it’s one of the really, really nice ones.

Tall and built like a bodybuilder, he has lots of heavy muscle through his chest and shoulders. But this guy doesn’t skip leg day. Those are some seriously buff thighs.

His clothes are like something out ofWitcher—a deep-blue long-sleeved tunic shirt and brown leather pants and boots. He’s got a sword strapped to his hip and a huge-assed bow on his back. This guy’s gorgeous like a movie star, one of those guys with his own chef and three personal trainers.

“Are you filming a fantasy movie or TV show?” I squint into the surrounding trees. “Where are the cameras?”

Then another thought hits me. Has all of this been some elaborate prank? Am I on reality TV?

No one leaps out, yelling “surprise!” Guess they’re going to keep the joke going for longer.

Instead, he points to the bright yellow bouncy castle, and a stream of foreign language pours from him. God, what is that? German, Gaelic, something Scandinavian? It could be any of them or none of them. I’mhorribleat languages.

Still, I can guess what he’s saying—“Why the hell did you put a huge lump of obnoxiously colored plastic right in the middle of my perfect movie set?”

“Hey, now. Your props people made that thing… appear, not me.” I flap a hand at the bouncy castle. It popping into existence like that had to be some kind of special effect, right? “And that twenty-foot fall was no joke. I don’t have any stunt training. I could have gotten hurt!”

He turns to face me with some serious bedroom-eyes action, hitting me with a double whammy when he adds a charming smile. “Drevistie.”

My tummy flutters. Bad tummy! Stop fluttering for him!

The movies star stalks toward me. Oh, god. Is this the next part of the prank? Have the gorgeous guy pretend to find the plain-looking woman attractive and capture all of it on film?

Fuck that noise.

“I wish I had something to throw at him,” I whisper.

A pillow pops into my hands.

Oh, god. If that’s a special effect, I don’t see how they’re doing it. But it has to be right? Because if it’s not, then…I’mdoing it.

And why a pillow? A quick laugh bursts from my lips, bordering on hysterical. What an utterlyuselessthing! I guess they don’t want their leading man getting his pretty face hurt.

“Here goes nothing.” I lob it at him, and of course, he bats it out of the way.

Over and over again, pillows pop into existence in my hands, the crystal on my chest burning with warmth.

And over and over again, he knocks them aside, taking slow steps toward me. With those long legs, he could be on me in a flash. So he must be toying with me, drawing things out for the camera.

This becomes even more apparent when he grins and starts catching the pillows in order to drop them on the ground, one right beside the other.

I squint, trying to figure out what he’s doing. Then he adds another pillow, and it suddenly becomes clear.

This asshole is making a bed!

“As if, buddy.” I throw another three pillows in rapid succession.

He adds them to the others, filling in the last holes in the “bed.”

Then he’s on me in two strides, and it suddenly becomes clear that he’s not just tall, he tops me by a good foot, which is really saying something since I’m almost six-feet. I feel smaller than a man for the first time in years, the kind of smaller that imagines his big body on top of mine…

No. Bad brain.

Up close, his green body paint is so immaculate I keep expecting a makeup artist to run out of the trees waving a sponge and demanding he hold still for yet another touch up.

His hands capture mine. He transfers both of my wrists to one of his huge hands, holding them easily. His other digs in his pocket, pulling out a crystal that looks a lot like the one on my necklace.