And hehidit from me!
The wooden bucket scrapes across stone. “Where’s the dipper? Did the younglings run off with it again?”
I’m frozen in shocked horror by their words, too numb to care when a pair of boots come into view, followed by a guttural, “Damn.” I don’t even look up to see who it is. It doesn’t matter.
Their words are true—the song of my magic sings to me of their rightness, telling me I’m already bound to Dravarr.
Who didn’t want me to know.
My stomach roils like I’m going to throw up.
The men hurry away, leaving me clutching my knees, my thoughts whirling as hard as my tummy.
Another set of boots strides close, familiar boots.
A small whimper escapes me as I curl tighter, digging my face into my knees.
“Ashley!”
Dravarr’s voice sounds like he cares, but is it because he truly does? Or because he’s supposed to?
“Are you hurt?” His huge hands engulf my shoulders levering me upright. “Tell me what’s wrong!”
“Oh, yeah. I hurt,” I mumble from between numb lips. I rub at the ache in my chest, but it does no good.
He tries to gather me into his arms, and I can’t take it, can’t take being held by him when it’s all a lie.
I shove at him until he lets go and climb to my feet, using the well to keep me steady. “I know, Dravarr. Iknow.”
The concern drains from his face, leaving it expressionless. “Who told you?”
“Does it matter?”
He frowns, shakes his head, and reaches for me. “Ashley, I—”
“No.” I raise my hands and take a step back. “I can’t hear a bunch of excuses right now. You don’t understand how much this hurts me. Youcan’t. Not when you’ve got all of this.” I wave an arm. “A family, a village, a real home.”
“So explain it to me.” That at least sounds sincere.
“I’ve spent a lifetime being orphaned, being an outsider, beingalone.” It only got worse once I grew up and my childhood friends from the orphanage turned into adults who felt uneasy around me due to my witch nature. “I thought…” A sob chokes my throat, and I try to swallow it down, but my voice still sounds strangled. “I thought someone had finally picked me, wantedme.”
Instead of him saying anything aloud, Dravarr’s scowl speaks volumes, cutting apostrophes into his cheeks and the straight vertical slash of an exclamation mark into his brow.
“But I fooled myself. You’re only with me because your goddesstoldyou to be.” Another hiccupping sob escapes me. “You didn’tchooseme.”
“Ashley…” He raises his hand, his brooding dark eyes scouring my face.
God, I’m an ugly crier when I sob this hard. My whole face will be red, my eyes swollen to little slits. I’ll be lucky if I don’t blow a snot bubble before this is over.
And I can’t stand it, can’t take being this open and exposed when he stands there looking like all of this is nothing more than another irritation to be gotten through. I’m glad he doesn’t lie to me—that’s about the only thing that would make all of this worse—but I wish he’d give me a kind answer.
I wish he loved me, too.
“I wish to escape,” I whisper, and never have I meant the words more. A lead weight of hurt disappointment fills my stomach, weighing my soul. But my magic is stronger. It tingles through me in a wash of power and carries me up into the sky.
Away from the man who just broke my heart.
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO