Page 45 of Saved By the Mountain Man

I hadn’t been able to just let it slide after that. Everything Vito had asked me to do in the following days had come with a question.

What if I’m setting up another killing?

No matter how much I tried to convince myself that it had been fine until now, that they weren’t all like that, I couldn’t be sure of that, either.

What if that family wasn’t the first? What if a whole bunch of innocents had already died at my hands and I didn’t even know?

After a couple of days, I’d cracked. I hadn’t been able to keep going with that anymore. I hadn’t been able to arrange meetings and not know who the people were, know if they deserved to die.

Hell, all people deserved a shot at life, right? A second chance to change things and make a difference…

I’d confronted Vito, anger and despair driving me. “Why? Why did you do it?”

He looked at me with cold eyes, unfeeling and unrepentant. “It was necessary. They were in the way.”

I’d realized then that I’d overstepped, that I was in over my head. Vito was a man who didn’t tolerate disobedience, and I had crossed a line. “I can’t be a part of this,” I’d said, my voice shaking.

“You don’t have a choice,” he replied, his tone menacing. “You’re in too deep, Tanner. You try to leave, and you’ll be next.”

I knew then that I had to run. But more importantly, I had to protect Rae. She didn’t know the extent of my involvement, and I couldn’t bear the thought of her getting caught up in this nightmare. I’d packed a bag that night and left without saying goodbye. If I had, they would have found her. They would have killed her to punish me.

I’d known leaving like that would break her. But rather a broken heart than death.

The pain of leaving her was almost as unbearable as the guilt I carried.

As I’d fled, Vito’s men were hot on my trail. I’d barely escaped with my life, disappearing into the mountains, the only consolation being that Rae would be safe without me. The decision to leave her had ripped me apart, but it was the only way to keep her out of harm’s way.

I’d loved her too much to let her die. I’d loved her so much I’d had to let her go.

The fire crackled, snapping me back to the present. My heart ached, and the guilt made me feel sick. I stared at my whiskey, not wanting to drink more.

“You doing okay there?” Bear asked.

“Fine,” I lied.

“It wasn’t your fault, you know.”

I shook my head. “It was. Without me—”

“They would still have died. Vito is a horror, you know that.”

“I turned a blind eye,” I said, feeling like I was about to crack and break down. Fuck, I hated feeling so weak. “I knew that things were fucked up, and I still kept going, doing what I needed to do so that Vito could keep killing, keep torturing. I enabled him, and for that, I will forever be punished. This life, alone—”

“Stop it.” Bear cut me off. “Do you love her?”

I blinked at him, confused.

“Yeah,” I said in a hoarse voice.

“Then maybe you should change shit. Live life differently. Unless of course, you want to let her go again and keep doing this. But something tells me this game isn’t enough for you anymore.”

He wasn’t wrong. Until Rae had shown her face again, I’d been more than happy to live a life of solitude, but now that she was back, I didn’t want to keep going the way I used to.

I wanted the life with her I’d had before.

No, that wasn’t true.

I wanted a better life, one without all the secrets and danger.

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