Page 46 of Saved By the Mountain Man

I wanted a different life with her now.

But the past wouldn’t let me go.

“What is she running from? Have you figured it out?”

I shook my head. “No. She won’t tell me.”

“Can’t blame her.”

“She doesn’t trust me.”

“She wouldn’t trust anyone, would she?”

I shook my head. If what she was tangled up in was anything like what I was stuck in, then it made sense that she wouldn’t trust anyone. Least of all me, though. Because I’d left her. I’d betrayed that trust she’d had in me once before, and I’d walked away from her, leaving her to fend for herself.

And now, she was in trouble.

As if I didn’t feel enough guilt already.

“I won’t force her to let me in,” I said to Bear.

“Just make sure that shutting her out doesn’t hurt you more. Or her.”

Fuck, he was right. Bear usually was. I didn’t know what he’d been through in his life, but it had given him a very profound outlook. He always told me that it was much easier to comment on others’ lives than to fix his own, but I couldn’t imagine that a man like him could have problems the way I did.

My mind turned to Rae again.

If I helped her, saved her, maybe I could find redemption, maybe I could protect her this time.

Leaving wasn’t the answer this time. But she wouldn’t tell me what was wrong. What was she hiding from me? What danger was she running from?

I stood up, pacing the small space of the cabin.

I needed answers, but I didn’t know how to get them. Not without giving her some answers, too.

“I can’t ask her to confide in me if I don’t confide in her,” I finally said to Bear, turning to face him. “I can’t expect her to open up to me when I’m not willing to do the same.”

“Maybe you should talk to her, then,” Bear suggested.

I groaned. “It’s not that simple. If she knows what I’ve done, she’ll leave. She’ll think I’m a monster. And she’ll have every right to.”

“Or maybe she’ll surprise you and stay, see you the way I do.”

I didn’t know if I could risk that. The only thing worse than losing Rae because I’d left would be to lose her because she didn’t want to be with me anymore. As long as she hated me for leaving her, she wouldn’t hate me for being a murderer.

I was too attached to her now. Hell, she’d always had my heart.

I risked driving her away. But I couldn’t ignore the feeling that something was terribly wrong, and if I didn’t know what it was, I couldn’t help her.

Bear was right. To show her she could trust me, I had to trust her and be open about my past. Even if it meant losing her.

It was the only way I could make things right, be there for her this time to keep her safe instead of running from the past.

I had to risk the fact that she might think I was worse than whatever she was running from.

And I was terrified of that. But I would rather have her hate me than not be able to protect her.

No matter how fucking hard it would be to tell her who and what I really was.

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