Page 77 of Redeeming Heart

“I’m sorry about her. It took quite a punch to the heart when we found out that her illness got worst and took her away from us, but Angela Adams was a fighter. Are you going to fight or break at the first hard rock you face?”

I shook my head because my mother wouldn’t want me to quit and I am not going to disappoint her even if she isn’t here anymore. The legacy she left behind was a challenge and I wasn’t going to destroy it by giving up.

“What you did three years ago was unacceptable and the world has a right to be mad at you, but they should understand that they placed you under massive pressure that made you crack because you didn’t get time to heal.”

“You’ve had three years to heal, so either leave that crap behind or let it take you under. Whatever you chose remember that team counts on you. They got you back no matter what. You have to make sure you have theirs.”

I nodded.

“I’m not lecturing you. I just want you to see that your emotions and feelings play a huge role when it comes to leading a team to victory. It will get tough and people will second guess you to the very end.”

She rested her hand on my shoulder. “I believe in you, but you’ve gotta believe in yourself, kid.” She let go and walked away.

I know she was right in so many ways. I was keeping my emotions all bottled up and one way or another if I don’t face them, it will cost my team and me.

It’s difficult to express myself like I used to because a part of my soul is gone and there’s no way I will ever get it back.

CHAPTER FORTY

My next mission was to tell my father that I won’t be able to pick up Jonah after school/practice because Isabelle’s field is quite a stretch and I am catching a ride with the girls.

At least Aunt Maggie understood when I spoke to her about not being able to work during some days and she mentioned something about working out a schedule once I figured out my workout plan with Isabelle.

She gave me this week off so I can get used to the routine. She pushed me to follow my dreams instead of cornering me with discouragement.

My dad was the only one who was home when Clarissa dropped me off. I just placed my things down without doing anything else and went to his study where I found him sitting behind his laptop.

He looked up when I softly knocked on the door standing open.

“Oh, hey you are home early.” He greeted with a small frown looking at his watch.

“Yeah, the coach dismissed us a bit early and that’s the reason why I want to speak to you,” I said, feeling my heart rate climbing high.

His frown only deepened, but he invited me to take a seat. It felt as if I was called to the principal’s office when I sat down at the other end of his desk while he was sitting with folded arms resting on top of the desk.

“Coach Peterson found us a field after our contract ended with the varsity where we were only borrowing the field for a temporary.” I wasn’t going to tell him the whole complete truth because I have a feeling that it would not sit very well with him.

“The field is located outside of the city and quite a stretch from here and we have our third match of the season this weekend. The coach needs us to get in a few extra hours of practice to get ready and with that being said, I don’t think I will be in time to pick Jonah up from practice this week.” I tried to be sincere as I could be not wanting to start an argument.

“Do you want me to believe that you are working on your future? Is this a way to get out of your chores?”

I just stared at him wondering what happened to him being happy for me for doing what I was always meant to?

“It’s the damn truth. I am sweating my ass off to get to my practice and make sure to pick Jonah up. I haven’t skipped out one day. Even when I clock off from work, I clean the dishes and prepare Jonah’s lunch for the next day. I barely ask you for anything and when I start doing things for myself as mom asked, you believe that I am tricking you to do what? Go back to old my habits?”

“I don’t care what you are trying to do, but you are not getting out of your chores. I will make sure to take hockey away from you if you so much step out of line, Sasha.”

“What?” My voice quivered. How could he be this selfish? Take something away from me that is my future? Who was this man I called my father? He wasn’t the same man of five years ago.

“Hockey means everything to me and you know how hard it was for me to start playing again without her being here.” I protested.

“That’s exactly my point. You will use something as important as this to get out of your chores.” He insisted.

Was this a joke?

“Why would you even say such a thing?” I was blown away that he would even say something like that.

“Because it’s the truth.”

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