“I can go if this feels too awkward for you,” Brandon offered.
His voice cut through my daze and brought me back to the realism of facing him here and now.
I lowered my mug and shook my head—not wanting him to go anywhere.
“I’m going to be blunt with you,” There was no way I am going to sugarcoat these feelings.
“I feel things I have never felt before and I am afraid to embrace it,” Because I was unfamiliar with them.
His smile was soft and ensuring. “What feelings?”
“Confusing feelings for you,” I admitted.
His forehead creased as I struck him with confusion.
“I’m usually in control when it comes to my emotions and I like being in charge, but when I am with you—like tonight, my emotions are all over the place and I have no idea where to begin.”
My eyes followed his smooth movements when he scooted closer to me.
“How out of control?” He asked. Cupping the side of my face in the palm of his hand.
“Like I want to kiss you until my lips are dry and hurt, but at the same time I want to run away afraid of losing you.”
His touch was gentle and soft as he brushed the back of his hand over my cheek.
“Why are you already jumping that far in the future?” He pressed gently.
I shrugged.
“Maybe it has to with how much you mean to me.” I truly care about him and want him in my life until the day I die.
He helped bring out the strong and courageous girl in me and show me that the world wasn’t that ugly. He helped me see my dreams more clearly when my reflection became hazy.
“You want to forget about tonight?” He asked without any anger involved, but I saw the panic in his eyes.
“No, of course, not. I should technically thank Ashley for opening my eyes when she dared me to kiss you because I would never have been brave enough to do it on my own.”
A few months ago, I barely knew him, saw him as a guy but somewhere along the way I stopped paying attention to my subconscious and I kept rejecting the idea of us being more than just friends. Tonight, a light went on in my head, and finally saw this for what it is.
I developed feelings for him without even realizing it.
He crawled into my heart and made himself a home there.
“What did you mean when you said I always been the girl?” I asked taking his hand between mine and comprehending how big his hand is compared to mine.
“I already developed a crush on you back in high school when I first laid eyes on you.” He explained.
“When I looked at you, I saw this driven person who wants a shot at life and who didn’t care about the world’s opinion.”
“You have this certain spark in you where you encourage other people to follow their dreams. I loved looking at you when you commenced your team on the field and how you burn brightly with joy whenever you were out there.”
“But you never once came up to me,” I tried to go back in time and see if I was maybe impolite to him when he approached me, but I don’t remember him ever coming up to me.
“That’s because I was shy,”
I chuckled—not believing him.
Why would he be shy to talk to someone like me?