Page 159 of Redeeming Heart

She would be disappointed if she found out that I rejected my birthday and it will hurt her.

With the courage left inside of me, I got up from my bed and left my room. I heard voices in the living room when I made my way down the stairs. I expected my dad and Brandon to talk about stuff that had nothing to do with me, but I found completely the opposite.

CHAPTER-EIGHTY

My whole team including coach Isabelle, Jaylin, Camille and Hailey was here putting up a birthday banner and blowing up the living room with balloons.

Everyone was so busy following Aunt Maggie’s instructions that they didn’t see me standing there with tears in my eyes.

Brandon was the first to notice me when he headed for the stairs with a huge bouquet of red roses in his arms. He froze, looking at me with big, round eyes as he couldn’t believe I actually left my room.

“Is this all for me?” I asked, gesturing at everything.

Brandon nodded. “I hope I am not overstepping a boundary, but everyone heard how you’ve spent your last three birthdays and they wanted to give you a different birthday this year.”

By now everyone has stopped with what they were busy with and looking at me and Brandon’s interaction.

Brandon took a few steps to meet me in the middle when he saw tears glistening in my eyes.

“I know I can’t bring your mom back, but hopefully I can help you to slowly get over the pain and maybe make you see that you deserve to be celebrated.”

He handed me the beautiful bouquet of roses making the tears I was holding back, trickle down my cheeks.

I stepped into his arms when he held them up and enclosed them around me. “What did I do to deserve you?” I asked with my voice muffled in his shirt.

“You deserve to be loved, cared for, and celebrated because you matter.” He remarked.

“All of this,” He gestured to our friends and my family downstairs. “You deserve,”

For so long I have been hindered by all of these negative thoughts about my life and if I should continue living without my mom—that I almost forgot that my life matters.

My mom physically told me, herself, that I should continue with my life and not stop because of this one huge hiccup, but I just could never find the strength to pick myself up and do what I was told.

I started feeling selfish by just thinking about life while hers was slowly evaporating and when she was gone, I was so mad at life, God, and the world for letting her be taken away.

Looking up at Brandon and seeing my reflection in the depths of his eyes and seeing the courage he sees in me gave me some small portion of hope that I could live without her.

Three years is all it took to drown-and let myself go.

Every day I woke up was a gift and I, for one, should understand the meaning of it because my mom was grateful for every day she got to wake up.

Everyone around the room, downstairs looked as if they were regretting doing all of this for me because of the tears streaming down my face.

They just didn’t know how much their gesture meant.

They were finally the live preserver I needed all this time to pull me out of the dark depths of drowning thoughts I was caught in.

I placed a kiss on Brandon’s lips and thanked him softly for what he did before moving out of his arms, and still feeling courageous I faced all of the people who cared about me.

“I kind of forgot what a birthday party looks like or even feels like because the last time we celebrated a party is when Jaylin left for college.”

There were a few rounds of laughter and applause.

“Up until now, I didn’t know that I needed this—needed people to show me what I was doing to myself was wrong.”

I looked at my father and saw his eyes shimmering with tears.

“My mom was told her whole life she couldn’t have children, but as stubborn as a mule she was, she made it happen and she had me.”

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