Page 146 of Redeeming Heart

“I am afraid of losing control and forgetting that you’ve never done this. I fear my excitement will skyrocket through the roof and I will end up hurting you.”

His eyes were crystal clear and there were no hidden secrets behind them.

“I don’t know if you realize, but I was completely aware of what was happening and I didn’t beg you to stop— it was the other way around.” I was begging him to continue.

His mouth curved up into a dazzling smile. “Yeah, I was aware,” He leaned forward and brushed my lips with a kiss before leaning his forehead against mine.

“I don’t want to rush this. We have all the time in the world to build up to that moment.” He took my hand in his and placed a kiss on the back of my hand.

I nodded because there wasn’t anything else left to do. I felt a bit rejected and quite angry with myself that I slipped that far into desire.

I got up from the bed wanting to take a shower so we can meet our friends downstairs before anyone comes looking for us.

“Sasha,” His voice was filled with worry as he reached for me.

“Hey, talk to me,” He urged cupping my cheek in his hand. I gazed into his smokey-grey eyes feeling them piercing through mine as he was trying to figure out what was going on.

“I am trying to process everything that just happened. I feel rejected, but at the same time relieved. My heart keeps throwing stuff at my mind but it keeps ducking from all the blows—trying to be the only one that thinks rationally. My heart wants me to lose control while my mind thinks I am nuts.”

“Making love isn’t something to think lightly about, especially for someone who never saw the point or desired to lose her innocence.”

“I desire it now with you. My heart beats differently when I am with you or when you have your hands on me. You make me lose control and make everything spike.”

He is like an energy drink when it finally reached the point of throwing your energy levels so high it is hard coming down from that high.

“You are an addiction, Hills,” I confessed.

“One I don’t want to get cured from because the high is worth it.”

“We just got together, angel.” I knew it had something to do with that and I had no clue why I was getting upset. Maybe I wanted us to pretend it never happened, but that’s impossible because it did and it created a big, thick wall between us.

“Yeah…Uhm…the girls are waiting for me. We should probably get ready to meet them downstairs.” I pulled away from his grasp and shut the bathroom door behind me before he could follow.

Maybe I was overreacting or maybe my heart was still having an intense battle with my brain, but my brain didn’t want to hear it.

CHAPTER SEVENTY-FOUR

Brandon was gone by the time I finished up with my shower and I took the opportunity to find either Camille or Jaylin or even both.

Most of my teammates were already up and settled at a table while a few of them were still missing and I can only imagine what they were up to.

I spotted Camille at the buffet table dishing up a plate of food and decided I can brave enough to share my awkwardness with her.

“Morning, sleep well?” She asked when her gaze fell on me.

I nodded, scratching my arm unsure where to begin.

“So, it’s safe to imply that you and Brandon finally made peace and that you finally surrendered?”

“Something like that,”

She frowned again and observed my shy behavior.

“Everything still good?” She asked, picking up a plate and shoving it into my hands followed by placing some toast and other fried food on the plate.

“Please don’t judge me on what I am going to say,”

“Based on what? Awkwardly walking in on my so-called aromatic friend having a hot tongue exchange with the handsome guy she’s been avoiding for weeks.”

---