Page 66 of Chase Our Forever

I smile wide, my fingers twitching against her skin at her answer. Her answer makes my shoulders relax a little as my heart perks up as well. I like the way she talks, as if she sees a future here. I’m afraid of how much I want her to make Sutten her permanent home.

Tonight, I find comfort in her presence and the knowledge that she doesn’t plan on leaving anytime soon. Tonight, that’s all I need.

39

LIV

I’m climbingthe stairs from the basement to the main floor when a sound comes from the hallway that leads to Dean’s room. I pause for a moment at the top of the stairs, wondering if I’m just hearing things. It’s now been just over two months since I started as Clara’s nanny, but it’s only been a couple of weeks since it got too cold outside for me to sit on the porch, even with the space heater. We’ve been getting light dustings of snow, so now my new reading spot is in the basement.

Typically, Dean comes down there with me and works from his laptop, but he’d had an early morning and a day filled with meetings. Christmas is in a few weeks, and he’s been busy trying to get things done before the new year, so when he’d said he was going to go to bed early, I understood.

But as another sound comes from his room, I can’t help but wonder if he’s okay. A strangled cry comes from down the hall, making me take a step in that direction.

It’s been over a month since we kissed, and we haven’t done it again, even though it’s obvious we both want to. Although we haven’t given in to the temptation, I still feel closer to him than ever. Because of this, I continue down the hallway to Dean’s room just to listen and make sure he’s okay.

I’ve never been in his room. I haven’t needed to be. There’s nothing really down this hall except his bedroom, so I haven’t been down this way. I stop in front of his door and listen. Just when I’m confident that everything’s okay and I was just overreacting, another cry comes from his room.

My heart pounds with not knowing what to do. In the late nights Dean and I have spent getting to know one another, he’s admitted that he’ll still get nightmares occasionally. Although, they aren’t as frequent as they used to be. He even confided that sometimes they’ll be so loud that they’ll wake Clara up.

I press my hand against the door and grab the doorknob with my other. Clara’s having a sleepover with her cousins, but I still don’t want Dean to have to suffer through the nightmare if I can stop it.

I softly push the door open and take a hesitant step into his room. It’s dark. The only light in the room is the moonlight that filters through the opening of his curtains. He lets out another strangled cry as I carefully shut his bedroom door. I stand in place for a moment, trying to decide if this is a good idea or not.

He lies in the middle of his large bed. He’s pushed all of the blankets off him, leaving him in nothing but a pair of gray sweatpants that I’ve never seen before. Even with only a small amount of moonlight illuminating the room, I can see a sheen of sweat across his bare back.

Dean faces the opposite direction, so I can’t get a clear look at him, but I don’t have to see his face to know that he’s having a nightmare. Even in his sleep, his body is stiff, and the muscles on his back are bunched together.

I walk closer to the bed. My heart pounds, and I don’t know why I’m so nervous. If I was having a bad dream and he woke me up from it, I’d appreciate him. But he’s been in my room. He’s sat on the edge of my bed at the end of a long day, after putting Clara to bed, as we just talked about the most random of things.

Ihaven’t ever been in here. Something feels different about being in his room.

I push my worries about upsetting him by intruding on his personal space from my mind. If he gets upset, he gets upset. At least he won’t have to suffer through the nightmare longer than necessary.

As quietly and gently as possible, I press my knee into the corner of his mattress. I repeat the motion until I’m on the bed with him. I didn’t think this through. How do I wake him up? Do I whisper his name? Pull his body into mine?

I hadn’t come up with a plan. All I knew was I heard him having a nightmare, and I needed to stop it. His breaths are heavy as he hugs his pillow tighter, his body reacting to whatever’s happening in his dream.

Carefully, I reach out and place my hand on his back. I begin to rub circles along his back in an effort to comfort him.

“Dean,” I whisper, trying to get his attention but not startle him.

It doesn’t help. His body thrashes against the mattress as he mutters what I think is the wordnoagainst his pillow.

My hand travels up his back until I’m able to cup the back of his head.

“Dean,” I repeat, this time a little louder. “Wake up.” My heart hammers inside my chest. His hair is damp from the cold sweats of his dream.

“Please wake up,” I plead, hating the way his body shakes with whatever’s going on in his dream.

He startles as he abruptly pushes himself off the mattress while letting out a loud gasp.

His eyes immediately find mine, and all I can see in them is panic.

“Sunshine,” he croaks. His eyes frantically scan my face as if he’s trying to figure out if I’m real or a dream.

“I’m here,” I tell him, placing my palm to his cheek. “I’m right here.”

His chest rises and falls in rapid succession as he tries to catch his breath. As if he doesn’t believe that I’m actually here, he reaches up and grabs both sides of my face. His fingers tangle in my hair as he roughly pulls my forehead against his.

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