Page 38 of Chase Our Forever

I don’t say anything else. I hate myself for making her smile falter, even if it was momentarily. She should be able to have a fun time at the festival—even if it’s with my brother. I stuff my hands into my pockets and wait for our turn to get on the hayride while conversation breaks out between everyone around me.

When it’s time for us to board the large trailer hooked onto the back of the tractor, I make sure to grab Clara and go to the opposite side of the ride from the one Reed chooses. Before Liv can pick a path, I sit Clara on one side of me and pat the other side.

“Liv!” Her name comes out more like a command than I meant it to. “Come sit by me. Clara wants you to ride with us.”

Liv looks at Reed once before walking toward us. I let out a small sigh of relief when she walks in our direction. For some reason, the thought of being trapped on this trailer for the next five minutes while having to watch her and Reed talk more sounded like hell.

“I didn’t say that, Daddy,” Clara whispers.

My eyes dart to my daughter. “Pretend you did.”

She lets out a dramatic sigh. “Okay,” she responds with all the sass she can muster. Thankfully, she doesn’t say anything else as Liv takes the seat next to me.

23

LIV

Every timethe tractor hits a bump, my thigh bounces against Dean’s. I try to scoot over a little, but if I were to scoot any further, I’d fall off the hay bale they’d made into a makeshift bench for the ride.

We hit another bump, making me fly forward. Dean reaches out and steadies me by pressing his large hand to my thigh. There’s a layer of denim between our skin, but I can still feel the heat of his hand through the fabric. His fingertips dig into my thigh slightly as he keeps his hand pressed to me.

“You good?” he asks, his voice rough. He’s been grumpy since the moment we got in line for the ride. He’s barely said a word to me, even as his family chatted away. I know he’s typically quiet and broody, but he’s been grumpier than normal for the last twenty minutes.

I nod, focusing on where he keeps his hand pressed to my thigh. We hit another bump, but my body doesn’t jolt as much, thanks to him keeping me pinned to the hay bale. I want to tell him it isn’t necessary, that I don’t mind getting thrown around a little as we make our way to the field of pumpkins.

But I can’t deny that I like the feel of his hand where it is. The weight of it feels nice. I almost wish I was wearing my oldpair of jeans instead of the new ones I’d just purchased. If I were wearing the ones I’d brought with me from Florida, I’d have a hole on my thigh right where his hand is. Instead of a layer of denim between us, I’d be able to feel his skin against mine.

And I want that, even though I know I shouldn’t.

We hit another bump, and just like with the other, Dean’s hand stays firmly against my thigh.

“You don’t have to do that,” I mutter. My heart races at the closeness of him.

He grunts. “Yes, I do.”

“Livvy, we pick out a big pumpkin?” Clara asks, her voice full of excitement as she leans forward to see around her dad.

“The bigger, the better,” I tell her with a laugh. I’ve never carved a pumpkin before, but yesterday during Clara’s nap time, I spent my break looking up different videos on how to do it. She insists she wants a pumpkin with Olaf carved on it, which makes me a little nervous, but I’m willing to give it a try.

“Real big,” Clara demands, holding her hands out wide to prove just how big of a pumpkin she wants.

“Perfect.” Without even thinking about it, I place my hand over the top of Dean’s. “We’ll pick out the biggest pumpkin the patch has to offer and make your dad carry it for us.” My hand shoots off his as quick as it landed. I only placed mine over his to hit home the fact that he’d be carrying the pumpkin, but now I’m wondering if he found it weird.

Dean removes his hand from my thigh seconds before the tractor stops. The trailer comes to a halt while my cheeks heat. I miss the loss of his touch, even though I can still feel the press of his thigh against mine.

I look forward, unable to look at Dean as I wonder if I just made things weird. He’d just been trying to be a good guy by helping to steady me on the ride. I’d gone and taken things toofar when I’d placed my hand over his, even if it was only for a brief moment.

He’s your boss, I remind myself.Not only is he your boss, but he tragically lost the love of his life in a horrible accident. The last thing he probably wants is for his daughter’s nanny to develop a crush on him.

But that’s the thing. I think I already do have one.

I take a breath as my eyes immediately meet Pippa’s. She stares at me with a soft smile. Her eyes ping-pong between Dean and me, making it clear that she saw everything that just went down.

My heart was already racing from Dean’s touch, but it gets even faster the wider her grin gets. This isn’t happening. She did not just witness me make things incredibly awkward by trying to hold my boss’s hand. It’s not that I was even trying to hold his hand. I was just trying to make a joke.

And now he’s standing up and climbing off the back of the trailer without even looking at me.

“Perfect.” I groan, letting my eyes flutter shut for a moment as embarrassment washes over me. Is he going to fire me? Did any of his other nannies develop crushes on him and then make it weird when he was just trying to be nice? Maybe that’s why he’s fired so many of them.

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